Don't Scrub Away Your Identity

I’ve been away for a while…my apologies, but I needed to get my bearings.  Not to worry, I’m still here with bells on, kicking and screaming and still very much on my grind.  This is the last week of March, which also means that Q1 of 2013 is about to come to an end.  One quarter down…three to go.

I’ve devoted more than one blog post to “being yourself” and the notion of “loving you for you.”  I want to step back in the ring with those topics again today.  You’ll have to forgive me for being redundant, but this is what’s on my heart, and truth be told, more of you need to hear it than are willing to admit.

When I was living in Los Angeles, a friend gave me a belt made from old soda bottle caps.  It’s a pretty neat belt.  The buckle is fashioned like the buckle of seatbelt and though I’ve had it for more than a couple years now, I always get a compliment/comment or two when I wear it.  Here in New York, a girl said to me, “Nice belt!  I wish I could get away with wearing something like that!”

I thanked her for her compliment, but I couldn’t help feeling sorry for her.  I mean, come on – it’s a belt.  Not at all run-of-the-mill, but a belt nonetheless.  Why can’t she get away with wearing it?  What’s stopping her from putting on something of its kind?  She spoke as if I was wearing a Lady Gaga’esque costume of sorts.  It was a belt.  Not an extravagant headdress.  Not a purple wig (of which I also own and wear with pride).  Not stilts.  Not a risqué French maid uniform fit for Hugh Hefner’s crib.  It was a belt.  And even though she liked it, and the fashion statement it represented, she had such a low opinion of herself and/or low self-image, that she won’t allow herself to even think of wearing it.  At the end of the day she’s too concerned with how she will be perceived by others if she were to don this article of clothing.  It’s not so much that she “can’t get away with it,” because come on – you can wear whatever you feel like wearing.  We’re talking about New York for goodness sake.  You’d have to go out of your way to look weird here.  And by the by…no one cares.  Everyone is much too busy with their own stuff to even take the time to give you and your wardrobe (no matter how fancy you think you are) a second look.  No one cares.  And girl – we’re still talkin’ about a belt here.

But even if we broaden the scope, the message is still the same.  If your t-shirt is not offensive to others: wear it.  If your shoes aren’t gonna cause you to trip on the sidewalk: wear them.  If you like hot sauce on your potato chips: go for it.  If you don’t want to follow the career path that your parents have chosen for you: do it as diplomatically as you can, but speak up for yourself and let your voice be heard. 

Be you.

Love you.

It’s your individuality that makes you interesting.  If you’re totally consumed with fitting in and being like everyone else, what makes you special?  That’s almost like scrubbing away your fingerprint which just sounds foolish.  Don’t scrub you away.  When you think about your favorite contestants on American Idol, The Voice, So You Think You Can Dance, and/or America’s Next Top Model; they’re your favorites because they stood out in some way.  There was something memorable about them.  They left an impression.  Why should you be afraid to do the same thing?

Be the real you, and we will only love you more.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo:  www.stockfreeimages.com

NO FEAR

There are a hundred other things I should probably be doing right now to get ready for tonight’s performance, but at this very moment, I’m feeling the need to write – so here I am.  And I’m gonna try to make it quick.

To anyone who may be reading this, and to the people that you verbally share it with:  don’t be afraid to dream and don’t be afraid to be different.  Don’t be afraid to take chances and don’t be afraid of making mistakes.

I sit before you right now as a girl whose family hails from the rural township of Leland, NC.  It’s so small and unknown that it’s so much easier to tell people that your family is from Wilmington.  As if Wilmington is a metropolis, right?  But thanks to Michael Jordan, most people have at least heard of it. 

I digress…

My family is filled with hardworking people that followed societal norms by either going to college and then work, or getting jobs straight out of high school.  But at a very young age I knew I didn’t want to do that but I was embarrassed and ashamed to speak of my dreams to my family for fear of ridicule.  I even remember a conversation with my father when he said, “You want to major in something that will allow you to get a real job.”  Ouch.  Yep.  That stung a little. 

But when I made the decision to leave North Carolina for Los Angeles, I was an adult (so to speak) and no one could stop me – and it was by far one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.  I won’t take the time right now to catalog my entire LA experience, but if not for Los Angeles, there would be no STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

LA isn’t even a theatre town and I managed to mount my show eight times over the course of four years.  A one-woman show…in Los Angeles…a town where everyone and everything is fake, here I was sharing a slice of reality and they were listening.  I was blown away.

Fast forward and I have the wacky idea of heading back to my east coast roots, but this time the plane would take me to New York.  A one-way ticket.  Because I believe this is where my show is supposed to be.  And tonight…this evening of March 6^th, STEPPING ON A FEW TOES will be making its east coast premiere right here in New York City.  Please understand that I’m nowhere near finished, and I have in no way “arrived” but a dream of mine is being realized tonight, and I need you to believe that the same is very possible for you.

I love you guys for reading and supporting. 

Don’t be afraid to dream. 

Don’t be afraid to be different. 

Don’t be afraid to take chances. 

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

Another Dream Realized...

Slide Into Your Happiness

Two months down and we have managed to crawl our way into March.  Already – right?  And my, oh my, am I feeling good.  I truly am.  I literally feel like I’m bursting at the seams with energy, and my heart is heavy with hope, faith, belief and excitement.  The only thing I really want to share with everyone today is happiness and the fact that it’s out there for the taking.  Each and every one of you is due your slice and your fair share.  If you are stuck living a life that doesn’t bring you happiness; it’s your fault.  If you are not being completely fulfilled in your current day-to-day; you have the power to change that.  If you have dreams that you’ve locked away; you still possess the key to bring them out of hiding.  If you look in the mirror and you hate the person you’ve become; I’m telling you now – you no longer have to be that person if you don’t want to be.  Happiness and fulfillment are well within your reach and you can have them both.  You should have them both, and you should only be disappointed with yourself if you don’t. 

Listen.  If you say to a child, “You can be anything you want to be,” why shouldn’t that statement still hold true for those over 18 years old?  Why not?  And don’t talk to me about responsibility.  Don’t talk to me about being a single mom or a single dad.  Don’t.  My question to you is, “Do you still believe you can be anything you want to be?”  My guess is you don’t.  I’m willing to put money on the fact that you believe your situation to be the rule, and when people are able to realize their dreams, they are the exception as far as you're concerned.  You know what??  Poppy-cock!  Someone sent you a package full of lies and you were the fool that signed your name when the delivery guy came, because it doesn’t have to be like that.  This world is filled with example after example of people overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds to get what they wanted.  In my opinion they are the rules to live by, not your neighbor/buddy/friend that believes that bad luck is the only kind of luck that exists.  Why don’t you let them have all the bad luck they want while you claim something a little different for yourself?

Let’s talk real quick about your job.  If you’re working a job that you don’t particularly care for, but you need it to provide – I’m not suggesting you dump it without a second thought.  Be mindful of your situation and your needs.  I am suggesting, however; that you look pick up some outside-of-work activities that will put a smile on your face and recharge your battery.  If you feel like your 9 to 5 is sucking the life out of you, then it is your duty to restore that life with things that feed your soul.  Exercising, volunteering, drawing, painting, singing, more time with your children, reading, dancing, or even taking some classes at your local community college.  Perhaps with some additional training and skills you’ll be able to walk away from that job and into a better one that’s not bleeding you dry emotionally.  All I’m asking is that you think outside the box.  I don’t want a single one of you to settle for unhappy.  It’s not cool, it’s not cute, and there’s so much more to life.  If you believe that the first grader has the power to be anything he/she wants to be, I beg that you also believe that for yourself.

Here’s my year so far…

JANUARY

I received the final version and accompanying products for my STILL STANDING logo.  STILL STANDING is my personal message of survival that will be the final bit of punctuation necessary to round out my brand.  Items aren’t yet available for purchase, but they soon will be.  I want to thank Spencer Owens and his wonderful team at 1Six5 Designs for making my dream a reality.

FEBRUARY

I received the final word that STEPPING ON A FEW TOES would have its east coast debut in New York City on the campus of College of Mount Saint Vincent.

Please, please, please do not be a bystander in your own life.  There is no reason you should be watching from the sidelines.  Make the decision to be active and participate and don’t stop until you’ve claimed your happiness.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo:  www.stockfreeimages.com