What’s Your Thing?

What’s your “thing”?  You know…the thing, things, place, person or people that bring you joy and calms your nerves no matter what?  Mine is Christmas songs.  I can’t help but smile and bob my head when listening to holiday music.  Someone once told me that it takes six or seven positives to cancel out a single negative.  That’s just to get you to zero.  And my theory is that if you wait until the negative hits it’s too late – you’re just doing damage control at that point, and that’s tiring.  What I like to do is get a daily dose of my positive artillery.  Even when things are going great; and that’s the best because you’re literally filling your bank at that point.  So instead of simply balancing at zero, you’ll soon be way over the positive marker without much effort.  Then when the negatives attack, you’re ready.  You’ve been getting ready for battle this whole time.  And somehow even the worst of the worse doesn’t affect you as badly as it might have before.  You’re able to deal.  You’re able to cope, and as you keep piling on more positive armor you end of getting over the ordeal and coming out on the other side without a single scratch.  It sounds so hokey and so “Tony Robbins” but it’s so true.  Being positive and remaining in a good mood at all times is work.  Ask anyone.  Life will throw everything it’s got at you and either you’ll break, you’ll bend, or you’re unphased.  Your state of mind and the mental work you’ve been doing up until that point will decide how you handle any given situation.  And it’s worth it.  I say just give it a try.  Even if you feel silly at first.  Even if for only a few minutes each day.  Examples you say?  Ok.  Holiday tunes are number one for me, but here is some of my other go-to ammunition:

-- Family Guy

-- American Dad

-- Dancing in the mirror

-- Jogging

-- Creating something artistic

Those are my go-tos and I use them like they’re going out of style.  And the second I “get too busy” or “don’t have time,” my attitude suffers because of it.  Not immediately, because I’ve usually got a good bank stored up, but it creeps on, and once it’s got a hold of me, it’s hard to shake it.  So I’d much rather do the work when it’s not needed because forcing yourself once the poo has hit the fan can be difficult.

So that’s it from me today.  Your homework:

1.  Identify your “thing”

2.  Once identified, put it/them to use DAILY

3.  Reap the rewards

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

Don't Be a Broken Record

I’m beginning my prep for a speaking engagement I have next week.  I’ve been asked to speak at an event geared towards empowering women – specifically troubled teen girls.  I am very excited about the opportunity and I’m looking forward to connecting with the girls.  Nothing pains me more than to see a disgruntled child or adolescent.  They typically begin acting out in strange, and often times bad and dangerous ways because they are unable to effectively articulate the mixed emotions they’re experiencing.  And most often folks do the best they can to treat the bad behavior as opposed to the cause.  Just like most doctors.  You go in and say you’ve got a rash here and they give you a cream.  My question is, “What caused the rash?”  Let’s treat that.  The cream is just a band aid, it’s no cure.  And just like with physical ailments we really need to be focused on CURING the kids.  And it’s tough.  When their behavior is so erratic and out there all you wan to do is slap some sense into them, take away privileges,  or try yet another round of Time Out for the really young ones.  Yes.  All of those things are necessary (minus the slapping) to establish structure and discipline, but they alone won’t cure a thing.  They keep the disciplinarian happy temporarily, meanwhile the child is usually planning their next attack, and that unhealthy, damaging cycle will continue, for years in some cases, until the parent/guardian takes the time to dig deeper.  And digging deeper is HARD work.  It’s some of the toughest manual labor anyone will ever do, and it can be really hard on a parent because unbeknownst to them they are often times at the root of the problem.  And not necessarily because they are awful people, but perhaps because of a series of circumstances they put their child in…a series of unhealthy choices they made…it could be something as simple as repeatedly arguing with a spouse in front of the child.  It could be anything.  And it doesn’t always have to make sense.  THAT’S what we have to get.  These are kids.  Children.  It won’t always make sense.  Kids grow up with a vision of what they want their lives to be like, and when reality doesn’t match up to that vision – in whatever way – it can cause some grief and that grief can lead to any number of things.  But without taking the time to dig deeper you’ll never find out what’s at the bottom of all the angst and anger.  Instead you’ll keep wagging your finger, raising your voice, and asking your kid, “Do you understand me?  I don’t want to have to tell you this again.”  Well if that’s how you’re handling it…be prepared to be a broken record.

You can do better, and your child deserves better.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

New Prescription

I believe you’ve got to experience pain in order to truly know and understand what goodness feels like.  There was a time when I didn’t believe that to be the case, but I am definitely a believer now.  And if you stop to think about it, it makes so much sense.  It’s impossible to be 100% appreciative of something great if you haven’t experienced an equally painful setback.  I walk everyday, and even manage to jog most days, but it’s not something I do with a smile on my face – because I’ve always had the use of my legs.  Walking is a given for me.  Something totally taken for granted.  Other than a few bouts of crutches in middle school, I’ve always had the ability to walk on my own two feet.  Now you give that same ability to someone just coming out of a coma, or someone that’s lost a leg, or even someone that has experienced a bad stroke.  The ability to walk for them is monumental.  It’s HUGE!  They had experienced that painful setback that I was speaking of.  See what I mean?  Without that kind of pain, most of us will continue using our legs with little gratitude.  And that’s the only point I’m making.  But please understand I’m not saying we need to all have strokes, nor am I saying you need skip down the streets with a smile, thankful to have full use of your lower limbs (although that could be fun).  All I’m saying is when the pain comes…when it hits hard – instead of being pissed, get excited (easier said than done, I know).  Because I believe you’re just being prepared for a healthy (pun intended) dose of goodness.  And that’s the kind of prescription that no pharmacy can fill. 

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

Making Lemonade

Move.  Movement.  Change.  Interruption.  These are all things I’m experiencing right now, and they aren’t the most comfortable pair of shoes I’ve ever worn.  I’m admittedly still breaking them in, but I’m not spending any more money on shoes.  I’m committed to making these work.  I’m committed to making the best out of these circumstances that I’ve been thrust into.  And as I reflect on:  move, movement, change and interruption, I’m reminded of The Alchemist.  The book said that once you declare to yourself and the world your master plan for your life, the universe conspires to help you reach those goals.  Then I think specifically about “interruption.”  I HATE for someone to interrupt me when I’m speaking.  Makes me feel insignificant, like they aren’t listening.  Like the comment they’re about to make if far more important than what I have to say.  I absolutely hate being interrupted.  And if I’m walking from Point A to Point B, I’d rather make it to Point B before changing course.  Then I can at least say that I completed a task – but changing course (or being interrupted) mid-step isn’t quite so easy for me to do.  I’m so task oriented that I only focus on completing tasks.  Checking things off my list (because I always have a list).  So this interruption that I’m experiencing doesn’t feel good, but I’m wondering if the universe has another plan.  Is there something else I’m to be focused on?  Am I being forced to change course so that my ultimate goals can be reached?  I’ll be honest, that’s the only way I’m able to look at it right now.  Looking at it any other way is depressing and unmotivating.  I’ve already spoken about movement being a necessary part of life, so maybe interruption is as well.  Hmmmmm…the jury is still out on that one.

But in the meantime I’m adjusting.  I’m remaining focused on my ultimate goals, looking at the new roads I’m being forced to tread, and I’m mapping a new course.  Oooooo!  Can I stop right here for a moment?  This is key for some folks.  Did you hear what I just said?  “Mapping a new course” = revising my plans = making a new plan.  Did you get that?  Now for some, when things don’t work out according to plan they throw their hands up, curse the heavens, and shout, “What’s the point of making a plan!?!?”  I say the point is to get you on the road.  In order to travel anywhere you must first get on the damn road.  Outside of video games, I don’t know of anyone that has traveled anywhere without having been on a road.  Some walk to their destination, others bike it, some may run, and others may choose to drive.  Then there are many that do a combination of things:  drive or walk to the closest train station… drive to the airport and fly to there… But I promise you, the soul that sits on the sofa all day everyday is going nowhere, and they’ve got no plans to travel.  No plans on getting anything done.  No plans to go anywhere. 

So I guess what I’m saying is: it’s imperative to plan.  This is a must, and there’s no getting around it.  That’s a promise.  But the second thing is you’ve got to be willing to revise your plans whenever they are interrupted, because I can almost guarantee that life will throw you a lemon or two along the way.  Be prepared to make lemonade or be prepared to be stuck.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

In a Heartbeat

Well Saturday’s show was, indeed, a success.  I had no idea how it would turn out as I’d been unable to completely ‘center’ myself all week, and as of Friday night’s rehearsal I wasn’t at the top of my game. 

I’ve been told that my show is fairly ‘tech-heavy,’ and I was a bit saddened to know that I’d be doing the show without the use of any of our designed lighting ques.  The event was held at 12N and though we closed the blinds as best we could, the space remained pretty bright making the use of lights insignificant. 

But the biggest challenge of all didn’t hit me until I got on stage…the audience.  Wow.  Crying babies, fidgeting children, sleeping adults, running in the hallway, laughter in the restroom, and noisy cell phones (even though we expressly asked that they be turned off).  Oh boy.  All I could think was, “What have I signed up for?  What have I gotten myself into?”  But my biggest question was, “Can I do this?”  As I took the stage and I got through my first paragraph of dialogue all I wondered was if I’d make it to the end of the show.  There were so many distractions I felt as though I was a single act in a three-ring circus.  “They’re not even listening.  Why am I here?”  As I went from page to page of my memorized script, my focus went to just getting through it.  “If I can just make it to the end, and not stop, and not complain, and not yell at anyone.  All I have to do is finish – make it to the end.”

And finally the end came.  When I saw it on the horizon, I ran to it with open arms full of glory, passion, and thanks.  I breezed through curtain call, then took my seat for the Q&A session.  And holy smokes!!!!  They WERE listening.  They WERE paying attention.  They DID get it.  I was shocked!  The comments they made post show blew my mind because I seriously thought not a soul (other than Vince) was with me.  I was certain I was up on that stage making a stone cold fool of myself.  But it was just the opposite.  They were affected on a monumental level and I truly believe that lives were definitely changed.  I’m still floored at the response.  Just floored.  The moments I shared with the audience after the show were worth all the headache of the performance.  It was worth it.  And under the exact same circumstances (stress and all) I’d do it again.  I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Thank you to Rare Woman for giving me the opportunity.  Thank you to Jackie Wilson for joining me on stage once again.  You and your song continue to be a blessing to me.  Thank you to Jaimyon Parker for never leaving my side.  I love you more than Snickers.  And for those that missed it this time around…well shame on you (but I love you anyway).

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

See For Yourself

Today is the day before my show and I don’t have a lot to say, nor do I really have the time.  I’ll leave you with this, and I hope to see you at the show!  Seriously…you just need to see it for yourself…

::::  ABOUT THE SHOW  ::::

STEPPING ON A FEW TOES is an autobiographical one-person show written and performed by Jasmynne Shaye.  It is an honest story of survival that follows the journey of a young child desperately searching for love and acceptance.  This journey leads her to many dead ends forcing her to constantly retrace her steps and in many cases begin at square one all over again.  Treading with much frustration and hopelessness, she somehow manages to cut a clear path. She finds delivery from the rainy days to which she’d grown accustomed and her new path leads her to the warmth and sunshine she’d always longed for.  During the show Jasmynne shares with us her struggles on the often times rocky road to self-acceptance as she finally learns the real meaning of loving herself for herself.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

Rare Woman Presents...

Behind the Scenes

Behind the scenes of a one-person show…  So you really want to know what’s going through my head and what I’m doing four days before the show?  Ok, here goes…

• unpacking all of my show props and costumes
• going through all show props and costumes to make certain everything is accounted for
• taking a car load of props/costumes/décor over to the venue tomorrow so that I’m not fighting to get it all in my car on Friday
• running my lines
• running my lines and forcing myself to strike all profanity as per the venue’s request
• studying each of the 12 characters in the show; making certain I not only remember who they are, but that I also remember their motivations
• getting in the right head-space/mood to do the show; this means alone time, certain movies, certain music – things that I’ve found prepare me for the emotional marathon of STEPPING ON A FEW TOES
• writing a new message for the show’s guestbook
• making the lobby collage
• making certain I get some cardio in 3-4 times this week to make certain I don’t get physically tired during the performance
• doing an inventory of all of the show tokens to be sold
• doing an inventory of all of the lobby posters, reviews and show ads
• rehearsing, setting tech, and decorating the lobby Friday night
• resting
• thanking God for another opportunity to share my story

In a nutshell, that’s what I’ll be up to from now until Saturday’s show.  Saturday’s show?  Ohhhhhh…well in case you didn’t know I’ve got a show this Saturday.  Yep – this one coming up.  Here are the details…

WHEN

Saturday, May 12^th @ 12N

WHAT

A special tribute to parents presented by Rare Woman

WHERE

Westchester Christian Church

8740 La Tijera Blvd.

Westchester, CA 90045

FESTIVITIES

Featuring special musical guests, lunch will be served

TICKETS

$20 -- contact Deborah Talley for reservations ph:  323.521.4544

Signing out until Friday…

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

No time to say "Hello, Goodbye"

Today is May 4^th and no one has asked me what new thing(s) I accomplished in April.  I can only assume that you wanted to ask, but you didn’t want to make me feel bad had I accomplished nothing.  Well I thank you for your concern, and I am happy to report April’s news to you today…

Just to recap:

JANUARY
STEPPING ON A FEW TOES successfully completed another run by participating in Whitefire Theatre’s Solofest 2012.

FEBRUARY
I participated in another installment of URBAN LEGENDS, a poetry showcase held several times a year in Hollywood, CA.

I co-directed the short play THE BLACK HISTORY OF POLITICS written by Justin Key.

MARCH
I was a featured guest on the Rare Woman show, and the interview can be heard here: http://gvbradio.com/archives/rarewoman-031612.mp3

APRIL

I worked at this year’s Milk and Bookies (http://www.milkandbookies.org/), which is a celebrity charity event that focuses on literacy and giving books to children that don’t have access to books of their own.  It was a wildly fun event and I was part of a host of character actors brought in to entertain the kids in attendance.  The character I played?  The White Rabbit from Alice Iin Wonderland, and yes – Alice was there with me.  We had a blast.

In addition, I had the great fortune of being the guest on the Rare Woman radio show again last Friday.  Feel free to listen here:  http://gvbradio.com/archives/rarewoman-042712.mp3.

And by the way…I just want to say congrats to me for keeping my promise of “one new accomplishment per month.”  I’d say so far-so good.  We’re in the middle of the second quarter of the year, and I’m still trudging along.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you are too!

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.