Watch Your Garden Grow

I’m beginning this post having absolutely no idea what I’m planning to write about.  “Planning” doesn’t even seem like the right term, as there is currently no “plan.”

I just read a text that said, “all labor produces profit,” and I got excited.  I think often times we toil and work our fingers to the nub and we get super frustrated when we don’t see any fruits/results.  We may slink away and sulk in the corner asking, “What’s the point?”  Why the heck have we spent all that time planning (there’s that word again), putting pen to paper, completing trial runs… Why have we bothered to put our best foot forward if it wasn’t going to get us anywhere?  Think about it.  When you put gas in your car and later put your foot on the accelerator, you fully expect to advance.  Something would be terribly wrong if you did both those things and you continued to sit idle.  That’s about the time you contact your mechanic saying, “Houston, we have a problem,” because as far as you know you did what you were supposed to do, but nothing happened.

I would venture to say that more often than not we feel like that in our own lives.  “I did the work, but I got no results.”  What’s up with that??

Well, I’m here to pose an alternative methodology.  Let’s say your work/labor has, indeed, advanced you – you just may not be able to see it yet.  I talked about seasons in a recent post, and I’m going to employ the same metaphor here just a bit more literally.  Let’s take Farmer John -- now I’m gonna’ ask you to make a few allowances for me as I know absolutely nothing about agriculture.  I’m sure I’m gonna misspeak more than once.  Don’t chop my head off for it.

Ok, so back to Farmer John…  Though he plants his broccoli in late April – early May, he doesn’t expect a mature plant for 4-5 months.  However, he’ll plant his bush beans at the same time and those seeds will produce a mature plant within 60 days.  Yet he can plant an avocado tree at virtually any time during the year and he knows that it’ll take 3-5 years for that tree to reach maturity.  Seasons.  Though he’s doing the work, the times at which he can visually see his “payoffs” are vastly different for each seed that he sows.  Are you with me?  ALL of his work is producing profit even though he may not be able to see it right away.  And for that avocado tree, he knows it’s gonna be a while before it’s fully grown, and he never gives up on it.  Day in and day out he tends to it.  Months go by…years go by…and he remains faithful to the tree as he knows the fruit it will bear.

We have to be like Farmer John.  You have to KNOW, TRUST, and BELIEVE that all of your work will and DOES produce profit.  Don’t buy the lie that you got knocked three spaces back.  Don’t buy it!  Your life is no Monopoly game and shame on anyone that has you believing otherwise.  If you put in work EXPECT to be advanced, whether you can see an immediate change or not.  Just expect it.  And be proud about it.  You worked for God’s sake!!  My goodness!  Don’t throw that away.  Pat yourself on the back and do more, because the more you do, the more you get.  What I’m telling you is that every single seed you plant returns a harvest – you just have to be patient while the plant matures.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo credit:  http://www.irrigationdirect.com/media/backyard-vegetable-garden.jpg

Get UNstuck

Oh my goodness.  Forgiveness.  It’s so freakin’ necessary.  A friend of mine just shared a life lesson with me and I think it finally clicked for the first time.  Here’s a synop of what he said…

“I cannot judge another.  I am incapable of judging another because, no matter how much I know, or how much I think I know, I will never have all the facts.  And without all the facts there is no way you can make a proper judgment.  And since I’m unable to judge, I cannot condemn another.  I just can’t.”

He went on to say that once he understood his inability to judge that freed him to be able to quickly forgive the other person.  And once he forgave he had to let go.  So let’s look at a scenario…

You get wronged by your best friend of fifteen years.  You swear you know this person inside and out, yet they outright stabbed you in the back or hurt you in the worst way possible.  You’re human.  It leaves you hurt, angry, disappointed, sad, bothered, and vengeful.  And even though you want to haul off and beat the snot out of your so-called friend, I’m offering you another option.  Even though you’ve been friends for fifteen years, you still don’t have all the facts about who they are.  No one does, and no one ever will.  It is impossible for you to truly understand why they did what they did.  Right or wrong…you just don’t know.  And because you don’t know you can’t make a clear judgment.  And because you can’t make a clear judgment, you can’t condemn.  You just can’t.  What I am suggesting you do is forgive.  And do it fast.  Sincerely forgive them for hurting you and release it.  You CANNOT continue to hold it over their head because in doing so, you’re holding yourself back.  There’s a book called, “You Can’t Steal Second With Your Foot On First.”  It’s the same principle.  If you’re continuing to remind them at every turn about the infraction they committed against you when you guys were in college – you’re stuck!  You haven’t moved on!  Life is passing you by and your greatest accomplishment is keeping tallies on everyone that’s wronged you.  Whoop-dee-doo.  Aren’t you fancy??  Come on, man.  Get over yourself!  It’s not that serious, and you’re missing out on your own life.  They’re living; you’re not, and you’re hurting yourself.  What a shame.  You’re missing out on so much of life’s goodness because you choose to spend the bulk of your time keeping score.  Who the hell really cares?  I mean, really?  Who the hell cares?  They messed up.  You can either choose to keep them in your life or toss them aside.  If you choose to maintain the friendship/relationship – you’ve GOT to let it go.  Trust me on this one.

Forgive.  Let go.  Move on.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo credit:  http://emilysutherland.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/stuck.jpg 

Seasons Change

I heard a song lyric the other day that said, “Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.”  I heard it, pulled my car over, located pen and paper, and I wrote it down.  Who knows (I’m sure someone knows) what the song title is or who sings it, but they have never spoken truer words with that statement.

I’m gonna keep this one short today as I have much to get done, but I do want to make sure I get this point across. 

We aren’t meant to take every friend and acquaintance with us on our life’s journey.  There is such a thing as seasons, and sometimes folks are only meant to be in our lives for a season.  Perhaps they came into our life to teach us a lesson.  Maybe we crossed their path because they held the answer to a question that had been plaguing us.  There are even times when we need to meet them in order to learn more about ourselves.  It could even be a situation where our relationship with them got us one (or two) steps closer to a major goal.  The reasons are many, and it’s usually not until the friendship has dissolved that we begin to realize the purpose of that relationship.  But I can promise you this:  if you try to hang on to someone longer than you are meant to, it can quickly turn disastrous and it’ll leave you scratching your head wondering what in God’s name has happened to this once happy union.  Now the smell of sour grapes is thick in the air and it’s trying to tell you that the change of seasons has come and that person’s time is up in your life.  And sometimes it hurts like hell because that season may have stretched across decades and you can’t make it make any sense.  You were certain this was someone that you’d be growing old with, but the universe has different plans for you.  And in order for you to reach your full potential, you will eventually have to take heed to the messages you’re being sent.

And I would be lying if I were to say that these are easy messages to respond to.  They aren’t, and most will go through life ignoring them – but nothing good comes from that.  What was once a fun, energetic, inspiring relationship over time will turn spiteful, hurtful, and dishonest.  It’s just not good.  Where the two of you may have been able to let nature run its course and naturally drift apart, now the both of you are fuming angry and things have gotten ugly.  If you can help it, you never want things to go that far because one or both of you may end up saying things out of anger – things that you may later regret.  It’s always best, but not always easy, to part ways the moment you recognize the season is changing.  And you may not always know right away, but you will ALWAYS know, and don’t feel bad when you find yourself saying, “Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.”  It’s not a bad thing.  It’s a very necessary part of life to get from point A to point Z.  I don’t care where you live, it may be subtle, but the seasons always change.  Our personal relationships are no different.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo credit:  http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/04/Four_seasons.jpg 

Are You Making the Grade?

If you don't already have one, you need to put on your shoes and head to your nearest bulk-supply superstore RIGHT NOW. Because if you want the respect of your peers, your subordinates, your children and/or those in any position of authority you will be in desperate need of this. I'm talking about a spirit of excellence. The notion that if you're going to bother to do something (anything) you always do it with the intention of receiving an A+, even when there is no grade at stake. And get your head out of your hineys; this goes far beyond a day job or whatever it is you do to earn money. If that's the only place you're applying your A+ attitude, shame on you. You're a fake and that's not enough. Harsh words? My apologies, but I'll tell you why.

If you're only interested in pleasing or “impressing” your boss/earning a dollar you're so missing the boat that it's not even funny. That's work you're getting paid to do. I would hope you'd give your all and devote every ounce of mental energy when appropriate. But does that have to be the only person that you're “showing off” for? Because that's what it looks like to me. You treat your romantic partner any kind of way, and half-a$$ it around the house all day. Why don't they deserve your best as well? Yeah, you got her flowers, but they're not even the ones she likes – the ones she's told you over and over again that are her favorites. Ok you washed his clothes. But thanks to you're fine work the entire load looks like it was dipped in Pepto-Bismol because you didn't make the extra effort to separate the whites and the colors. Of course everyone gets brownie points for making an effort, but why stop there? If you're intent is to put a smile on someone's face, why not go the extra mile to make sure they're grinning from ear to ear?

And what about your children? I mean, come on – what kind of example are you setting for them? You have to remember: they can't see you at the office. They have no clue what's really going on in your world from 9-5, but they see the mess you leave around the house. They see the clothing you leave strewn about, the items you're always misplacing, the refrigerator that hasn't been cleaned in ages, the grass that hasn't been cut since who knows when, the bills that don't get paid on time...they see all of that, and is that really the example that you want to set for your children? How on earth can you rightly tell them to put their best foot forward at school when you, in their opinion, can't get a handle on your own life. And you may swear up and down that I don't know what I'm talking about, or that kids don't think like that. You can swear all you want, but you'll still be wrong. Children see EVERYTHING. They hear EVERYTHING. And everything that they witness serves as their examples: from you, their peers, television... So be careful and take it seriously, because when you're scratching your head trying to figure out why your child is behaving the way they are, you really needn't look much farther than yourself.

But enough of that. Moving on...your children aren't the only ones watching everything you're doing. You're friends and associates have got their eyes on you as well. Think they don't?? Think again. When you're constantly operating with a spirit of excellence you're peers can't get enough of you. It's like popularity serum. Whether they can fix their lips to say it or not, they are always impressed with you because you always deliver, and you do it in a way they wished they could. You, without even knowing it, have become their example, their measuring stick. And isn't that about the highest compliment one person can give another? To know that you operate in such a way that your friends aspire to be like you? That's kind of amazing if you think about it.

And if you're still not quite getting it, let me spell a few things out for you. Spirit of Excellence. I think I heard it said once that, “Personality is who you are in front of others. Integrity is who you are when no one's looking.” And THAT'S what I'm talking about. I'm talking about that razor-sharp integrity. I'm talking about behaving as if someone is always watching, because, in truth, someone always is. I'm talking about not littering, returning your grocery cart to it's rightful place as opposed to haphazardly leaving it in the parking lot. I'm talking about returning things in the condition they were given to you when you've borrowed something – well for some, let's just start with returning the item(s). I'm talking about giving your friend gas money when they've given you a ride. I'm talking about taking pride in your appearance, and it's got nothing to do with the names on the tags. Neat, clean, presentable, and odor-free have no name brand. I'm talking about knowing how to listen and not having to always be the one shouting your point of view. I'm talking about letting important people in your life know they're special to you.

All of these things are intangibles that go such a long way. And though they may not come easy to you at first, they soon will with repetition, because the results speak loud and clear for themselves. It's the small touches and the little extras that will make you stand out. Before long everyone and their mother will be calling on you to assist them with this or that project. Because they know and you've proven that when you get involved you don't stop until you've produced the best. I call it your A+ attitude, and I'm asking you to take it with you everywhere you go.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo credit:  http://www.tcschools.org/images/Report%20Card%20Clipart.jpg  

St. Patty's Day Everyday

Have you ever been friends with someone and then all of a sudden the friendship seemed to get really strained for no apparent reason? Where you were once attached at the hip, you now find yourself getting dissed by your best bud.

Have you ever met someone that you purposely went out of your way to please, yet all of your kindness and good deeds were met with one cold shoulder after another? No matter how much honey and syrup you served this person, he/she had nothing to offer you but salt.

Have you ever been in a relationship that once was once dripping with fun and mutual respect but somewhere down the line it made a wrong turn. There was a time when your partner couldn't stop singing your praises but now all they can do is criticize and belittle you at every turn.

What in the world, right? If you're like me the first thing you do is look in the mirror. “This person is behaving so strangely towards me, there must be a reason why. There's got to be something I've done to offend them.” Have you ever pondered those thoughts, just to come up empty-handed? I know I have. On more than one occasion I've spent hours...days...weeks...months even, splitting my brain, desperately trying to figure out what I could have done to find myself on the receiving end of such cruel behavior.

“Did I unknowingly change in some way?”

“Did I speak about them in a harsh way to someone else?”

“Have I been holding up my end of our relationship?”

No...no...yes were my answers, but I still had no idea why I was being snubbed. Then it came to me. I had to break it down to something that I'd understand, so I took it back to elementary school.

Remember Johnny swore he hated Susie, but deep inside he had the hugest crush on her? Remember when Tiffany told Heather that her hair looked stupid, when in actuality she wished hers looked half as good? Remember that Charles always told Brandon that he thought fishing was boring; when truth be told Charles had never even been? More than anything he wished he could experience what Brandon seemed to do at least once a month.

Never mind the names, but do you remember anything that closely resembled that in your elementary and/or high school? By now you should be getting the picture. Susie did nothing wrong. Heather was completely innocent. Brandon was just sharing the fun he'd had with his dad. Even still each of them were beaten ragged by their peers. Why?

It's an ugly green, deformed, spineless monster; and it's name is jealousy.

In those situations when you know for a fact you've been more than nice yet they still tear you down – they do it because you have something they wish they had. They do it because you're a mover and a shaker and they're not. They do it because you've crossed ten things off your To Do List this month, and they don't have so much as a scrap of paper to write a note on. They do it because if you say you're gonna do it, you do it. On the other hand they've been talking about doing this and that for the past year or more and they've done nothing. They do it because you have charisma and they can't string two words together to force anything close to an intelligent conversation. They do it because they've got baby mama drama coming at them from all angles and you have none. They do it because you're likable and fun. They do it because they're braggadocios and you're humble. They do it because regardless of how you look, everyone's attracted to you. They do it because it's more than evident that you're going places. They do it because they're jealous.

So my message to you is: get excited! In these kinds of situations when you know good and well you've done nothing to be on the receiving end of such heartless, insensitive behavior – pat yourself on the back. They are acting out because the sky is your only limit and they wish they were standing in your shoes. They hate that you're so ambitious, so creative, so driven, so focused, so talented, and so determined. They absolutely hate it. And some of them are on a mission to throw you off yours. Hahahaa!!! What idiots! You have my permission to laugh in their emerald faces because they're too dumb to know that St. Pattty's Day only comes once a year.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

The Show Goes On!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Noelle Ryan

Phone: 323/347-8554

Email: soft_noelle@yahoo.com

Jasmynne Shaye Continues “Stepping On a Few Toes”

Jasmynne Shaye Is Set to Perform an Excerpt of Her Award-Winning

One-Woman Show At This Year's Miss California Ethnic World Pageant

LOS ANGELES, CA – September 13, 2012 – Jasmynne Shaye has been selected to be a featured performer offering entertainment at this year's Miss California Ethnic World Pageant. She will be performing an excerpt of her powerful autobiographical one-woman show, “Stepping On a Few Toes.” Her show premiered to sold out houses in Hollywood, CA May 2009, and has had a total of seven successful runs to date. In addition, this compelling play was nominated for a NAACP National Theatre Award as Best One-Person Show alongside Loretta Devine and Synthia L. Hardy. Jasmynne has also been compared to Oscar nominated actress, Gabourey Sidibe, for her awe-inspiring performance. The California Ethnic World (CEW) International Pageant takes place this Sunday, September 16, 2012 from 2pm – 8pm. It will be held at The Westin Los Angeles Airport hotel (5400 West Century Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90045). The day's order of events are as follows: VIP Poolside Reception (2:30p), Fashion Show hosted by Brenda Epperson (3:34pm), California Ethnic World Pageant (5:00pm). Tickets may be purchased online at www.californiaethnicworldpageant.com or www.BrownPaperTickets.com. Ticket prices: (a)reception + fashion show + pageant: $85, (b)fashion show + pageant: $65, (c)pageant only: $45.

The purpose of the CEW Pageant is to give women the opportunity to come together, regardless of their background, to build positive relationships with other women who are inspiring and working diligently to leave a positive impact in their communities. CEW Pageant delegates come together and share their volunteer and community projects, ideas and goals with each other. The CEW Pageant system is designed to strengthen and empower all women, and strives to promote cultural diversity through the medium of pageantry. Their contestants compete in the areas of personal interview, fashion wear, cultural expression, evening gown, athletic wear and community service. The pageant has five divisions (Teen, Miss, Ms, Mrs. and Elegance) and it is open to women of ALL ethnic and cultural backgrounds. It affords every delegate the opportunity to grow and achieve her goals while being an exemplary role model for women around the world.

“Stepping On a Few Toes” is a dramatic autobiographical play that has been wowing audiences since it opened in 2009. Written and performed by Jasmynne Shaye, the show is becoming a classic amongst its followers who come back to see it again and again. The show has the kind of buzz and following that is almost unheard of in the world of Los Angeles theatre. Couple brilliant directing by Jaimyon Parker with Shaye’s dynamic artistry and storytelling, and you have the recipe for an inspiring, thought-provoking theatrical presentation. “Stepping On a Few Toes” gets in your face, under your skin and touches your soul. Shaye is a master at finding humor in difficult situations and shedding light on taboo subjects. She makes you laugh and entertains you in such a way that you never realize she’s been ‘stepping on a few toes’ the entire time.

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