Out With the Old, In With the New Year!

I have no doubt that today is a day of reflection for many. It’s the last…the end of yet another 365 day cycle; and good, bad, or indifferent, we’ve made it. Fingers crossed, we will wake up tomorrow morning with smiles on our faces ready to meet the highs and lows of the year we’re calling 2013. Today is indeed a good day. And for the final time this year, I will share with you what I’ve managed to get done. With the goal of accomplishing one new thing each month, this is how my 2012 shaped up…

JANUARY

STEPPING ON A FEW TOES successfully completed another run by participating in Whitefire Theatre’s Solofest 2012.

FEBRUARY

I participated in another installment of URBAN LEGENDS, a poetry showcase held several times a year in Hollywood, CA.

I co-directed the short play THE BLACK HISTORY OF POLITICS written by Justin Key.

MARCH

I was a featured guest on the Rare Woman show, and the interview can be heard here: http://gvbradio.com/archives/rarewoman-031612.mp3

APRIL

I worked at this year’s Milk and Bookies (http://www.milkandbookies.org/), which is a celebrity charity event that focuses on literacy and giving books to children that don’t have access to books of their own. It was a wildly fun event and I was part of a host of character actors brought in to entertain the kids in attendance. The character I played? The White Rabbit from Alice In Wonderland, and yes – Alice was there with me. We had a blast.

In addition, I had the great fortune of being the guest on the Rare Woman radio show again last Friday. Feel free to listen here: http://gvbradio.com/archives/rarewoman-042712.mp3.

MAY

STEPPING ON A FEW TOES had a successful run of a show sponsored by the Rare Woman organization on May 12, 2012.

I was the guest speaker at A Celebration of Strong Women presented by The Dream Catcher’s Foundation on May 31, 2012.

JUNE

I worked as Associate Producer on CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE, an indie short written and directed by Nicolle Whalen. It’s a comedic film taking a look at how far one will go to secure funds for a film. In addition it gives perspective on the homeless living in Los Angeles. I had a small cameo in the film as well.

JULY

I have created my very first poetry CD. The title is STILL STANDING and it’s a compilation of some of my most intimate pieces, really letting you into the life and mind of the person that is Jasmynne Shaye. My poems are laid to original music by Jasonic Audio. I’m calling it the soundtrack of my life. Interested in owning your own copy? Email Noelle Ryan for info: soft_noelle@yahoo.com

AUGUST

I have been hired to be a regular contributor for the new online presence: YEAH I SAID IT MAGAZINE (http://yeahisaiditmagazine.com/). I was invited by the site's founder and creator, Bonnie Sludikoff, because of my unique writing style. With this site it is her goal to cultivate conversations that engage and enlighten at the same time. I am super excited to be a part of this fresh, new online space, and I can't wait to unleash my tongue on the world! Yeah, I said it! [More info regarding the site's official launch will be forthcoming.]

SEPTEMBER

I was one of three selected artists invited to provide entertainment at this year’s Miss California Ethnic World Pageant. I performed an excerpt from my one-woman show, STEPPING ON A FEW TOES, and had an absolute blast. It was a great opportunity and a wonderful experience.

OCTOBER

I worked as Associate Producer on a short film written by David Burrus, Sr and David Burrus Jr. It’s called PARANEGRO ACTIVITY and is an obvious take on the popular Paranormal Activity series. The film is directed by Jaimyon Parker and it describes how events are likely to unfold if the freaky events were to take place within the home of a African American family. The set was ton and I’ll stop right there before I get to giving it all away. As always, it was a blast to be able to team up with Jai Parker again. His brilliance and creativity continues to blow me away. Stay tuned for more updates on PARANEGRO ACTIVITY.

NOVEMBER

Both sites get a facelift!! That’s right gang… the Jasmynne Shaye website and the Stepping On a Few Toes site both have fresh new looks – wait for it – created by yours truly!! Yesireebob! I did it all myself. I put that challenge on myself a few months ago, and I tied myself to a computer until they were complete. So I welcome you to check them both out. Now each site is equipped with an online purchasing section where you’re able to pick up your own copy of the show as well as other fun things. So go on…have a look-see and tell me what you think.

DECEMBER

In a sentence: I made it to New York.

I set goals for myself every year but I’ve never forced myself to achieve monthly accomplishments. In doing so I stretched myself and saw that I’m capable of much more than I thought. And having to remain accountable to my readers was key. Of course I never wanted to let myself down, but I certainly didn’t want to ever have to come to you all with my tail between my legs saying, “I tried.” This was such a worthwhile project and I think it’s one I may have to carry over into next year, and I really urge you all to join me. Just by putting this kind of expectant, positive energy into the universe good things come to you that you hadn’t even thought of or asked for. Three easy steps:

1. Set the goal

2. Make a plan

3. Follow through

It’s really not that difficult. Even the most daunting tasks can be broken down into bite-sized pieces. I think the important thing is to do something everyday. When you lay your head to rest each night you should be able to do so with a smile on your face knowing that you’re one step closer than you were before that day began. It’s so empowering and it totally builds your self-confidence. I am now at the place where I no longer believe anything is impossible. Everything is possible as far as I’m concerned and I’m excited to unwrap the box of possibilities that is waiting for me on the other side of midnight.

I want to take a moment to thank you all for journeying with me on this blog all year. You have given me so many kind words and so much encouragement. I sincerely thought me and my imaginary friends would be the only people reading this thing and you guys have shocked the pants off me. Thank you HUGE and many blessings to you all. I pray 2012 has given you at least one thing to smile about and I hope 2013 continues to build on that positive energy. I really think we’re all gonna be in for a wild ride and I could not be more excited! Whew! Come on guys! Celebrate (safely) tonight and kiss number ’12 good-bye, because ’13 has told me, “We ain’t seen nothin’ yet!”

Thank you so much for hanging out with me. I love you guys!

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo:  http://www.prlog.org/12032440-new-year-2013.jpg 

See The Possibilities & Love Their Potential

I believe it to be a very noble thing to choose to see someone as their potential as opposed to scrutinizing their faults. Very noble, indeed. And you know what I mean. Especially the parents out there. In those moments when your son or daughter has behaved less like an angel and more like something else; you can either cut them at their knees cursing the day they were born, or you can continue to love and support them because though they don't quite see it yet – you see more. You're able to look beyond today's mishaps and see them as the being they are meant to become. You have no problem forgiving their blunders, small and large, because you know for a fact that this sort of behavior is only temporary.

I know this is an area that parents are all too familiar with. Teachers as well. Pick any school, and any grade and you'll find a teacher that has at one time or another believed in a student much more than said student was able to believe in themselves. I think this gentle-hearted attitude can also be found in romantic relationships. As a mater of fact, I know it can.

Someone recently shared a story with me about a couple that has been together for more than thirty years. Today what everyone sees is a strong, rock solid marriage that most will only taste in their dreams. But when I learned of how this couple's relationship began, I realized they have come a very long way...

At the onset of their dating relationship, the man was a bit of a loose cannon while the female was a bit more traditional, refined, and put together. He was into things, people and activities that she could not be paid to be involved in, yet she stayed. She continued dating a man that, on the outside, appeared to be nothing but trouble. He was an absolute mess, and it seemed he really had nothing to offer her. Yet she stayed.

I didn't get a blow-by-blow of the in's and out's of the courtship, because I didn't need them. The story was already becoming very clear to me. I learned that she stayed because even in his chaos she saw the potential for greatness. As he wandered aimlessly she somehow knew where the course would lead. She saw his strength before he had any. She saw his power when he was weak. She may well have been the only person that could have tolerated his rambunctious behavior, killing him with kindness the whole way through.

And I know it took me a while to get here, but that's the point I want to make to you today. In human interactions you have no control over how the other person will behave. You have no control over their actions nor over the words they speak. But you have COMPLETE control over your own. No matter what the circumstance is, you have 100% control over how you respond and react to it. Every emotion you feel, I'm sure, has a valid point of origin and I don't discount that; but it's your choice to operate in a tit-for-tat space or in a space of love and kindness.

Someone steps on your shoe, so you step on theirs.

Someone calls you a name, so you call them a worse name.

Someone makes a comment that rubs you the wrong way, so you give them the tongue lashing of the century.

Sure. Absolutely. You have every right to respond in that manner, and I won't sit here and say otherwise. But I will say those responses/reactions aren't the only ones available to you. Those may be the easiest to access in your bag of tricks – I'll give you that, but they aren't the only things in the bag. And it definitely takes some time to respond with love when the other person seems to be hating everything about you. It is no easy task, because if it were everyone would be doing it; but it's a task worth putting to practice.

Back to the story of that husband and wife...they are now strong examples in their community of what a supportive, loving couple looks like. But please understand they would have never gotten there if not for the patience, understanding, and the love the now wife showed her then boyfriend when he was behaving less than favorably. It's something for all of us to think about.

I'm not suggesting you be a doormat and put up with every bit of silliness and shenanigans that gets thrown your way. But I am saying in those moments when you see potential in that other person...exercise a little patience. Choose love over bitterness and anger. That may be just the bit of encouragement he/she needs to get their act together.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo: www.stockfreeimages.com

There Is So Much Healing In a Single Dose

When I turned on my computer this morning, I was welcomed by a touching email from a friend and colleague. Without going into too much detail, I want to share with you a snippet of the message:

“It was a blessing to meet you and experience you up close and personal. Your performance, rare and stunningly authentic spoke volumes to so many. Thank you for sharing with me during those couple of intense conversations we had.”

I don't share this with you to wave a compliment in your face – it's not about that at all. And if you feel that way, I apologize to you greatly. I share it to show the importance of telling another when they've affected us in a positive way. When I read this email, it completely warmed my heart. I immediately read it a second time and have read it at least four or five times since. This note reminded me of my goals and my purpose – not that I've ever forgotten, but it is very easy to put things on our mental back-burners when life throws us some mess. And what I've got to learn for myself is that everything isn't urgent. Not everything needs to be tended to right now. Not everyone needs my attention ASAP. No disrespect to anyone, but there is much work to do, and I am only one person. I have always been just one person, and I'm not complaining; but I have come to learn my limits. Though it hurts and stings a little, sometimes saying , “no” is the best thing I can do.

Let's see if I can get back on course here. I seemed to have strayed a little from the point I originally wanted to make. Sharing positivity with another. It's essential. It really is. If you have a friend, coworker, or family member that has affected you in a positive way, you owe it to that person to let them know. By you taking the time to relay that message you return the blessing to them. Does that make sense? They have, whether or purpose or by accident, managed to bless you in some way – the least you could do is let them know how much their presence and kindness has meant to you. And simply by doing so, you will, in turn, bless them.

It's really that simple. People need to know when they've made a positive impact on your life. They need to hear it. Life can be so tumultuous at times, that it's very easy for any of us to say out loud or to ourselves, “Why bother?” And even in those moments when we just want to surrender to the lemons that are being thrown our way, we are well within our right to do so and no one would think ill of us. But when we get that bit of friendly encouragement it fills our tank and gives us just enough fuel to march ahead. It gives us the strength to pick up the pile of lemons that has collected at our feet and turn them into our best batch of lemonade yet. It revitalizes us. Gives us a much needed slap on the hiney saying, “You can do it!” That's what this morning's email did to me. I feel like I'm on top of the world and like nothing can stop me. So you know what I did?

#1: I wrote a message back to my friend expressing my thanks and gratitude for blessing me with such thoughtful words.

#2: I wrote a similar message to someone that has been a blessing to me in my life over the years.

So stop being stingy. If someone puts a smile on your face; let them know. If someone touches your spirit; let them know. If someone warms your heart, don't be afraid to let them know. Do your part so that the circle of blessings continues. I don't think anyone would argue that we would all benefit from an extra dose of heartfelt kindness.

So your homework assignment? Let someone know how they've been a positive impact on you today. Before you rest your head on your pillow tonight, please do that much for me – and watch what happens.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo: www.stockfreeimages.com

Do The Work :: Get The Benefits

Hello, gang. I missed posting this past Tuesday, and I come to you with my head held low begging for your forgiveness. Life has been a roller coaster of actions and emotions over the past few weeks – so perhaps a break was needed. I will do my best not to let it happen again (been saying a lot of that lately).

I'm thanking God for this internet cafe next door to the church I've just left. It's all very timely because I want to talk to you guys about benefits and rewards today. It’s a topic that I think I’ve broached in the past, but I’m feeling the need to dig just a bit deeper on this Friday the 14^th. An extremely wise person said to me a week or two ago, “You can’t expect to receive the benefits without first putting in some work.” He went on to use the analogy of a new employee at a company…

I remember when I first began looking for work, my dad would tell me, “Ask about the benefits. A lot of times an attractive benefits package will make up for a lack in monetary compensation.” So that’s what I did. With each interview I learned to not only appreciate the paycheck they wanted to offer, but I quickly began to understand this whole ‘benefits’ talk that my dad spoke of. And they seemed to come in all shapes and sizes: health coverage with little or no deductible, full vision, full dental, free gym memberships, free travel (sometimes first class), expense account, fuel account, petty cash, free child care, paid school tuition for continuing education, sick days, vacation days, personal days…I mean the list goes on and on. And sometimes these awesome benefits were met with equally awesome salaries. That’s when my inner self would begin to grin that enormous grin and dance with an uncontrollable joy. But – and most of the time there was always a but – there was inevitably always some sort of trial period. A “test run” if you will. The employer’s fine print: “You’re the new kid on the block, and we need to make sure you’re worth investing in. So before we just hand over all these awesome benefits, we need you to clock in ninety days of work first. You give us ninety days :: we give you benefits.”

Well, they never put it quite like that, but that’s what they meant. And this is how it was being broken down to me. Now I’m about to be transparent with ya’ll for a minute. Hold on to your seats.

The lesson I was being given was on the topic of romantic relationships. Let’s recall the statement again: “You can’t expect to receive the benefits without first putting in some work.”

Here’s what you may not know about me (dear God…): I have an unhealthy fear of failure (in every respect). (Here we go.) I have seen nothing but broken, unhealthy relationships growing up. Nothing lasting. Nothing real. I’ve witnessed destruction, dysfunction, betrayal, and abuse and I’ve seen what that does to a person. I’ve seen what it does to the children that are products of such chaos, and I made a vow to myself at the age of twelve, that I would never be that. That I would never do that. I wanted no parts of a broken, failed relationship. No parts of it at all. I sought out role models that were living in happy homes with rich, fulfilling relationships, and I listened at their feet. I took copious notes as I hoped to follow in their footsteps and learn from their mistakes. Did you hear that??? In an effort to sidestep mistakes of my own I hoped to follow the blueprints of others. Did you hear it that time? And the sad part about it is that it still sounds somewhat sane to me. I still see the sense in it.

The quote again: “You can’t expect to receive the benefits without first putting in some work.”

For years I’ve only been focusing on the benefits. The good outcome. The happily ever after. That’s all I cared to learn about. That’s all I wanted to study. Because I knew what chaos and destruction smelled like. I witnessed all that more times than I care to admit – so I never felt the need to study ‘problems.’ I knew ‘problems.’

And I was right. I do know problems. I am very familiar with most of them. I can spot them a mile away. But what I am unfamiliar with is ‘work.’ I’ve never seen ‘work.’ I’ve never witnessed compromise. I can’t even begin to tell you what ‘working through something’ looks like. I have not the first clue. I know how to avoid. I know how to run away. I know how to ignore. But ‘deal with’? Nope – that’s beyond my scope of expertise. And what I’m being taught is that it’s a very necessary part of any partnership. It is virtually impossible for anyone to receive the richest benefits that a relationship has to offer if they’ve not first put in some work. It just won’t happen. And I see that now. My eyes have been opened (thankfully) and I am aware of the work I’ve got to do. I’m talking to myself in this post, but I hope it reaches at least one other person out there. What I’ve learned is that I can’t be so afraid to fail that I’m afraid to try, because at the end of the day you can’t win the race if you’re sitting on the sidelines.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

>> To all the individuals and families affected by the Connecticut school shooting, my deepest and most sincere thoughts and prays are with you on this most tragic day. <<

Photo credit: www.stockfreeimages.com

Two Websites Get a Little Nip/Tuck

My friends, we’re here.  We’ve somehow managed to stumble our way through this year they’re calling 2012 and we’ve made it to her last and final month.  Whew!  What a time?!?  Good grief!  In all of my conversations with friends and acquaintances I’m hearing across the board that 2012 brought folks a special kind of hell that most were not accustomed to, and certainly unprepared for.  Worry not.  We’re about to bid her fair well, and happily welcome 2013 with open arms.  But before we do, let’s do our best to give 2012 a run for her rusted coins by showing her we’re not gonna take her silliness lying down.  I’m certainly telling her to put up her dukes ‘cause it’s do or die time right now and I refuse to go out like a punk!

Here’s a look at my year so far...

JANUARY

STEPPING ON A FEW TOES successfully completed another run by participating in Whitefire Theatre’s Solofest 2012.

FEBRUARY

I participated in another installment of URBAN LEGENDS, a poetry showcase held several times a year in Hollywood, CA.

I co-directed the short play THE BLACK HISTORY OF POLITICS written by Justin Key.

MARCH

I was a featured guest on the Rare Woman show, and the interview can be heard here: http://gvbradio.com/archives/rarewoman-031612.mp3 

APRIL

I worked at this year’s Milk and Bookies (http://www.milkandbookies.org/) which is a celebrity charity event that focuses on literacy and giving books to children that don’t have access to books of their own. It was a wildly fun event and I was part of a host of character actors brought in to entertain the kids in attendance. The character I played? The White Rabbit from Alice In Wonderland, and yes – Alice was there with me. We had a blast.

In addition, I had the great fortune of being the guest on the Rare Woman radio show again last Friday. Feel free to listen here: http://gvbradio.com/archives/rarewoman-042712.mp3

MAY

STEPPING ON A FEW TOES had a successful run of a show sponsored by the Rare Woman organization on May 12, 2012.

I was the guest speaker at A Celebration of Strong Women presented by The Dream Catcher’s Foundation on May 31, 2012.

JUNE

I worked as Associate Producer on CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE, an indie short written and directed by Nicolle Whalen. It’s a comedic film taking a look at how far one will go to secure funds for a film. In addition it gives perspective on the homeless living in Los Angeles. I had a small cameo in the film as well.

JULY

I have created my very first poetry CD. The title is STILL STANDING and it’s a compilation of some of my most intimate pieces, really letting you into the life and mind of the person that is Jasmynne Shaye. My poems are laid to original music by Jasonic Audio. I’m calling it the soundtrack of my life. Interested in owning your own copy? Email Noelle Ryan for info: soft_noelle@yahoo.com 

AUGUST

I have been hired to be a regular contributor for the new online presence: YEAH I SAID IT MAGAZINE (http://yeahisaiditmagazine.com/). I was invited by the site's founder and creator, Bonnie Sludikoff, because of my unique writing style. With this site it is her goal to cultivate conversations that engage and enlighten at the same time. I am super excited to be a part of this fresh, new online space, and I can't wait to unleash my tongue on the world! Yeah, I said it! [More info regarding the site's official launch will be forthcoming.]

SEPTEMBER

I was one of three selected artists invited to provide entertainment at this year’s Miss California Ethnic World Pageant.  I performed an excerpt from my one-woman show, STEPPING ON A FEW TOES, and had an absolute blast.  It was a great opportunity and a wonderful experience.

OCTOBER

I worked as Associate Producer on a short film written by David Burrus Sr and David Burrus Jr.  It’s called PARANEGRO ACTIVITY and is an obvious take on the popular Paranormal Activity series.  The film is directed by Jaimyon Parker and it describes how events are likely to unfold if the film's freaky happenings were to take place within the home of an African American family.  The set was a ton of fun, and I’ll stop right there before I get to giving it all away.  As always, it was a blast to be able to team up with Jai Parker again.  His brilliance and creativity continue to blow me away.  Stay tuned for more updates on PARANEGRO ACTIVITY.

NOVEMBER

Both sites get a facelift!!  That’s right gang... the Jasmynne Shaye website and the Stepping On a Few Toes site both have fresh new looks – wait for it – created by yours truly!!!  Yesireebob!  I did it all myself.  I put that challenge on myself a few months ago, and I tied myself to a computer until they were complete.  So I welcome you to check them both out.  Now each site equipped with an online purchasing section where you’re able to pick up your own copy of the show as well as other fun things.  So go on...have a look-see and tell me what you think.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo:  stockfreeimages.com