2014: Will It Blow Your Mind?

I know my posts have been far and few between this year.  I don’t mind admitting that leaving Los Angeles and making a home for myself in New York has made for a challenging transition.  But I’m a fighter.  Thankfully, I’ve powered through and championed the situation much better than expected.  As I sit and write to you now, I do so filled with excitement and wonder.  I’m in a great place mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Things in the world of Jaz are charging forward with buckets of positive, productive energy; and I’m thrilled.  My hope is that you are filled with similar emotions as we welcome in this New Year.  But not excited for me, of course.  My hope is that you’re excited for you.  Excited to see what new heights you will reach over the next twelve months.  Excited to see what seemingly impossible obstacles you will overcome, and what hurdles you will jump.  Every January 1^st brings with it a year of possibility—but you already know that.  Otherwise there would be no such thing as New Year’s resolutions.  What you may realize is every new month brings with it that same level of possibility.  As does every new week…. As does every new day.  It has always been my belief that one need not wait until January 1^st to make grand life-changing decisions.  Each morning you wake up is a gift.  And what you do with those 24 hours is your decision.  You have control over how each week will progress, and subsequently over how each month will unfold.  Yes, accidents happen.  Yes, drivers run red lights and thieves steal.  The actions of others we have no control over, but what we always have full control over is how we react to those actions.  That has never changed.  And it’s those reactions…those small decisions that shape and mold our character.  And as your character becomes stronger so does your confidence.  It’s only natural.  And once you’re cruising through life riding confidence at its peak, you’re unstoppable.  The words of others don’t sting you, and you become your loudest cheerleader.  All of a sudden you seem to only travel in lanes with no traffic and the weather in your world is always sunny—regardless of what Mother Nature brings.  THAT’S the space you want to be in, and it is very possible.  You just have to make the personal decision to attack every day with purpose and waste not a single moment.  If you’ve been blessed enough to awaken after a night’s sleep, do something with that day to make yourself proud.  Procrastination is a beverage guzzled by the weak.  Be better than that.  Be stronger than that.  Choose to wake up tomorrow (and every day) with a renewed sense of being.  The next 365 days have the potential to blow your mind away.  Whether or not it happens is completely up to you.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

Long Time -- No Write

Hey, guys!!  I know you have missed me, and even if you haven’t I’m telling myself that you have because it makes me feel better.  Truth is, I’m juggling so many things right now that I just flat out haven’t had the time for regular posts.  One of the projects I’m working on???  A BOOK!!  Yes – there, I said it!  Yours truly is working hard to get a book published before the end of this year.  Which means all my writing, creative energy is spent there as opposed to here in the blog.  But I’ll be honest =whisper= I miss blogging.  There’s something so special about the conversations I’m allowed to have in this open forum.  It’s a thing non-bloggers probably don’t get, and that’s cool.

But, I come to you today with great news!   STEPPING ON A FEW TOES will be hitting the stage next week!  I’m participating in HONEY & POISON which is a monthly solo artist showcase held in Brooklyn, and I’m super excited.  It’s a free event, so all New Yorkers are encouraged to attend.  Here are the details:

HONEY & POISON

Thur, Sept. 19, 2013 @ 8pm

Two Moon Art House

315 4th Avenue

Park Slope, Brooklyn

Gang, I miss you guys dearly.  New York is being good to me, but I’m very much still in a state of transition.  So much is happening behind the scenes that I’m really not at the place to speak on just yet, but I’m praying you’ll hang in there with me (pretty please).

In the meantime, get excited about Fall, because she’s on her way!  For us on the east coast it means, sweaters, boots, scarfs, and heavy coats.  For my west coast family it means long sleeved shirts and jeans.  No matter where you are you should be getting the feeling that 2013 will soon be wrapping up.  So make a mad dash for your finish line.  It’s not too late to start a new project or complete one that’s been hanging out on that back burner for a little too long.  Roll up your sleeves and commit to getting something done.

Love you guys!!  And we shall chat soon!

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

Don't Be Sad Like Sidney

I was recently dining with friends and was in the company of a man that truly made my heart ache.  He’s an older gentleman…a physician of around 50/60 years old.  He’s a father of some amazing daughters and a proud grandfather as well.  And though we didn’t play any games of trivia, it’s clear that he’s an intelligent guy.  Best I can tell, you can b.s. your way through a lot, but I doubt anyone’s b.s.’ing their way through medical school.  Just a thought.

So as we’re gathered around the table breaking bread with one another, waitress after waitress stops by our spot to give a hello to the doctor.  And like the gentleman that he is, he briefly canoodled with each of them as if they were the only woman alive.  As if his day had just been made by the presence of their beauty.  And in fashion, each girl giggled and tossed her hair, clearly soaking up every drop of praise that was being tossed her way.  The doctor (who I will refer to as Sidney) was clearly in his element.  This restaurant was his spot, and these were his “girls.”  He loved stealing hugs and other bits of affection from them and they loved being doted over.  Sounds like a win-win situation right?  Harmless enough?  I thought so, but the night was still young…

I will do my best to make it make sense for you, but Sidney really proved to be a mixed bag of tricks making finite, definitive statements on one hand, and then completely contradicting himself seconds later.  You would kill me if I wrote like that so I’m going to share the info with you in the most linear fashion that I can conjure.

Sidney shared with me that he’s lonely.  That he wants nothing more than to have a partner to call his own.  A woman that will accept him for who he is, someone that he’s able to be himself around, and someone to hold at night.  That’s his wish and the dream he dreams each night as he hugs his pillow to sleep.

He also told me that he has challenges meeting women.  Didn’t sound like he was very good at it.  He said to me, “Jaz, the only thing I know to do is to impress them with my Bently and all my money.”  I looked him straight in the eye and told him that he was foolish and that his approach was utterly ridiculous.  He then asked how he’s supposed to get women, and I responded, “Open your mouth.  When you start having real conversation, you’ll start meeting real women.”

I’m really giving you guys the Cliff’s Notes version of the evening – you have no idea…

Then it really gets good.  Sidney, with all the passion one could muster, leans in, wags a finger, and says, “I don’t go on dates!  I refuse to go on dates!  What am I gonna do?  Ask a girl about her day?  I don’t care about that.  I just wanna f&^%!”  [sorry kids who might be reading this]

Then with just as much passion I got in his face and said, “Then say that!  There is no shortage of women that are looking for the exact same thing!”  Sidney and I exchanged a few more words – passionately, and then we hugged it out.

Now let me tell you why my heart aches for Sid.  Even though he told me he can never be monogamous, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so open and so raw as he was when he told me how lonely he is.  And I’m sort of picking on him right now, but Sidney’s not alone.  Our world is filled with men like him that are desperately trying to hold on to a vision of themselves from days gone by.  I would imagine that he was probably the ultimate playboy fresh after his divorce.  Life was good and his bedroom was revolving door.  But what he’s not realized is that playtime is over, and it has nothing to do with his age.  It’s over because it’s stopped being fun – but he’s not completely willing to admit that just yet.  He knows it in his heart, but he’s not ready to say it out loud.  So he’s continuing to fill his life with stuff and people but never being fulfilled, and I told him straight up, “Sidney, you’re lacking substance, and you won’t be happy until you get some.”  And I think that’s the lesson for us all.  Often times what we want and what we need aren’t in alignment, but we will never know how it feels to ride the rainbow of our lives until we make our needs our ultimate wants.  Don’t allow yourself to be sad like Sidney.  Get real with yourself once and for all and give YOU what YOU need.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo:  http://blog.timesunion.com/mydogbandit/files/2010/10/sad-dog-600x400.jpg

Rivers Of Honey

I will be sharing an excerpt of STEPPING ON A FEW TOES at this month’s Rivers Of Honey Artist Showcase taking place this evening in New York City.  Rivers of Honey is a New York-based organization that features the art of women of color.  The organization seeks to empower and entertain by allowing women to let their voices be heard.  Artists are encouraged to share in their artistic expression of choice.  For more information on the organization, please visit:  www.riversofhoney.com

Keeping Your Cool: Part II

Last time I talked about being your true self and today I want to talk about pursuing your dream.  With the only disclaimer being:  as long as your dreams don’t involve you bringing harm to another, you should always pursue them.  Always.  It is really as simple as that and this is something I will not budge on.

Every single human being is born with an innocent, pure curiosity about life, and as they enter childhood they begin to formulate dreams without having to be told to do so.  It just happens as a natural progression of their thoughts.  And kids’ toys play right into their fantasies and the land of make-believe they create for themselves.  Toddlers are fascinated with simple things such as preparing pretend meals in their pretend kitchens and being cashiers at their pretend cash registers, counting their pretend money and bagging the make-believe groceries.  And as the child matures, so do their dreams.  They migrate from wanting to run the express lane at the grocery store to wanting to sing, draw, play the guitar, dance, act, paint and so forth.  And all the while all the older, wiser adults in their lives continue to tell them that they can be and do anything they put their minds to.  These children are told that the sky is the limit and that the world is their oyster, and they fully believe it – they have no reason not to.  But somehow when these same wide-eyed kids become adults they begin talking like all hope is lost, and I can’t quite understand why because that’s the exact opposite of what they were told as kids.  All of a sudden they are saying things like:

“I’ve got to be realistic.”

“I’m too old for that.”

“When I was younger…”

“Now that I’m older…”

“I used to want to…”

Where did this defeatist attitude come from???  What?  Something didn’t go your way once and you immediately threw your hands up in surrender?   You got knocked down a time or two and felt it necessary to completely call it quits?  Or was it that others didn’t believe in you so you stopped believing in yourself?  What presence or what force came into your life that was powerful enough to make you to give up on you?  What was it?  Who was it?  Well whatever or whoever it was is no good for you and doesn’t deserve a second of your energy.  Your dreams, goals and aspirations are very attainable no matter what you’ve come to believe; and it’s while you’re in pursuit of those ambitions that you really begin to learn your true character.  The real you begins to come alive because you’re now living with purpose which is exciting.  And that brings us back to Part I of this article (see link below):  being your true self.

If you’re living your life suppressing your dreams you aren’t being true to you and you’re denying yourself buckets of happiness.  Don’t you feel you’re worth more than that?  Don’t you deserve to live your life to the fullest and completely enjoy every shred of joy your life could bring?  Why not?  Why sit on the sidelines watching others achieve?  Why not experience a taste of that life for yourself?  Believe me; it’s VERY possible.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

Part I of this article can be found here:  http://steppingonafewtoes.blogspot.com/2013/05/keeping-your-cool-part-i.html

photo:  http://sajabla.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/cool.jpg