Do You Know Who You Are?

Please understand that I love what I do.  I absolutely love that I’m a dream-chaser.  I love performing.  I love writing and entertaining.  I really do.  I love that I am a believer.  I love knowing that the sky is my only limit.  Whew!  What a feeling!

But last night I was taken to a place.  I was taken to a place that made me want to act a straight up fool.  I attended a casting panel discussion, and as always at those kinds of things there are more than a couple wide-eyed newbies hoping to get the secret to success.  Hoping and praying to God that mega knowledge will get dropped and they will leave the event ten steps closer to superstardom.  Is it possible?  Absolutely, because I believe anything is possible.  But to the wide-eyed hopefuls I would first say, “Know who you are and know your worth.”

As opposed to being concerned with:

-- Do I join SAG or don’t I?

-- Is my hair the right length?

-- I have a lot of story ideas but I’m not sure how to proceed.

-- I don’t want to be type-cast.

Can I just please ask you to stop?  Please.  Here’s my advice to you:  figure out what you want, and get very specific with your answer.  “I want to be famous,” won’t suffice.  What do you WANT?  To get a novel published?  To land a spot on a sitcom?  To land a national commercial?  To land a Broadway role?  To become a staff writer for network or cable TV?  To have your music featured in a major film?  What do you WANT?  And take some time to figure it out because I want you to get needle-point specific with this thing.  Yes – split hairs.  Yes – get down to the minute details of it.  Be able to declare it in a single sentence and make certain that’s a sentence that speaks clearly to all – even those that don’t work in your field.  Get specific.

Once you know exactly what you want, I need to know who you are and what you’re bringing to the table.  And it’s not so much that I have to know; more so that I need YOU to know.  Get very clear here.  Who are you as it relates to the “what” that you want?  If you want to be a master painter are you at least a so-so painter right now?  If you aim to be a restaurateur are you bringing to the table an impeccable palate?  Who are you and what are you bringing to the table – as it relates to your ultimate goal?  Define those things and again, get very specific.  Go ahead and put pen to paper and make a list that you can see with your own eyes.  Study that list.  Highlight your strengths and take note of the areas where you need improvement.  And then get excited because no matter how much improvement you need, you’re now closer than you think.  You can now have an intelligent conversation with anyone about what you’re trying to accomplish and you will sound much more learned and confident now that you’ve defined these things for yourself.  They may or may not be able to directly assist you on your journey, but you will leave a positive impact as opposed to being a passing thought.  And at the end of the day that’s what we all want…to be remembered – positively.  And that’s an energy you have the power to create for yourself.

Take this post for nothing.  Take it for everything.  But you will never get anywhere without first knowing who you are and what exactly you’re bringing to the table.  Trust me; they can all smell your fear and desperation a mile away.  If you do nothing else you had better stand up straight and “act as if,” because nobody wants to help someone that appears to not know where they’re going.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo:  www.stockfreeimages.com

Still Standing: My Personal Message of Survival

Hello, my friends.  I am so incredibly excited about some of the stuff I’ll be rolling out this year.  And for those that are connected with me via Facebook, you’ve already seen this logo.  Now let me share a bit of the story behind it.

On the suggestion of another artist I teamed up with Spencer Owens at 1Six5 Designs.  I knew I wanted to expand both the “Jasmynne Shaye” and “Stepping On a Few Toes” brands going into 2013.  When we originally met last year, I had no idea what I wanted – I just needed whatever we came up with to “speak for itself.”  I was looking to, in some way, combine my personal message with the message of STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.  And so the brainstorming began.  With five of us sitting around a table, one-liners were being tossed about and doodles were being scribbled on napkins, as I did my best to explain my vision.  I left the meeting excited about the possibilities, but worried I hadn’t quite gotten my message across.  I beat myself up for not being more prepared.  “He can’t possibly capture my vision if I can’t even explain it,” is what I thought.

But Spencer shocked and amazed me.  He more than captured what I wanted to say.  The photo you see here is of a t-shirt baring my fresh, new logo with the simple message:  Still Standing. 

I am absolutely in love with this thing.  Take away the text and the graphic still speaks volumes.  I could break it down for you bit by bit, but I’m gonna hold off on doing that for now.  For now I’m going to let you get from it whatever you like, and I’ll let it speak to you however it needs to.

The purpose of the logo?  Well it’s about to become my personal brand.  You’ll see what I mean.  Essentially, this is my personal message of survival and it’s a message that I hope to share with the world.  Two simple words coupled with a very memorable graphic.  I’m gonna leave it right there for now.

Many thanks again, to Spencer Owens and the awesome team at 1Six5 Designs.  I honestly couldn’t be more pleased.

As a reminder to everyone:  there is a poetry CD entitled “Still Standing” that contains a compilation of original poems by yours truly.  I don’t know about chicken soup for the soul, but it’s sure to lift your spirits and give you a shot of encouragement when you most need it.  Visit www.jasmynneshaye.com and click on the POETRY link (under “Contact”) to get more info.

Until next time!

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

I'm Feeling Very Reptilian

I’ve talked about “shedding” in the past, and it’s a subject that I want to revisit today.  I don’t plan on writing at length today, primarily because I don’t have the time, so I will try to make my point as quickly and succinctly as possible. 

Not everyone has your back.  Not everyone has your best interests at heart.  Not everyone is excited to see you succeed.  Some people are actually hoping and praying for you to fail.

Sometimes those people are your closest friends.

Just because you’ve known him or her since childhood doesn’t mean it’s a relationship that you have to carry with you to your grave.  If you are earnestly on your journey and focused on your mission, God will always continue to put the right people in your path.  I know that, and even though I believe it with every fiber of my being, (because I’ve seen it happen in my own life) I'm still preaching to myself as I type. Even still, you have to know and believe it for yourself as well.

This is a tough one.  It really is.  You’ve known them for a decade or more… You guys have been telling each other everything for years…  This is the one person that knows everything there is to know about you…  Ya’ll have so much history…  You can’t just up and throw that away, right?  Friendships are worth fighting for, right?  Yes.  Of course.  Some of them are.  Absolutely, and I don’t aim to sound as if no one you know if worth two cents.  That’s not what I mean at all.

That word again:  shedding.

Sloughing off old things that no longer fit and that no longer work, to make space for new things (and people) that do:  shedding.

Most of you know exactly what I’m talking about because you’ve already experienced it in your own lives.  That unexplainable “weirdness” that is so thick in the air between you and your bestie all of a sudden.  You can’t figure if you’ve changed or if they’ve changed; all you know is things are different. 

What ends up happening most of the time is the Big Blowout.  It’s that fight, argument, or situation that finally puts the two of you head-to-head and at complete odds.  It ends nastily and both of you walk away believing this ‘thing’ was the reason for your relationship’s ultimate demise.  It happens to college roommates all the time.  But let me tell you, the Big Blowout isn’t what broke the friendship.  Know it or not, you guys were on a slow decline and it was just a matter of time before you drifted apart and away from each other for good and forever.  The Big Blowout only sped up the process.  Trust me, that was a friendship that wasn’t gonna last forever.  The Big Blowout just put a lot of ugly in your face all at once, and you could hide from it no longer. 

You will always have fond memories of this person, but their season was up.  That was someone you were spending way too much time with anyway.  It was necessary for you to shed them so that you could clear some space for the awesomeness that was awaiting you around the corner.  Relationships of any kind should be rewarding, uplifting and motivating.  A friend just told me on Wednesday that relationships are only worth holding on to if you’re being “fed” in some way.  He said once you’re no longer being “fed,” it’s time to call it quits, and I can’t help but agree.

I won’t argue that this kind of shedding isn’t met with an immediate feeling of loneliness – but it’s temporary. On the upside you feel lighter, completely rejuvenated, and you'll have a sense of freedom you hadn’t experienced in years.  Meditate on what I’ve said, but ultimately listen to the inner voice that guides your way.  Only you know if this is a relationship worth fighting for, or one that you’ve got to shed.  Negative or positive be ready and willing to live with the consequences of your decision.  As for me?  I’m feeling very reptilian, and I know what I’ve got to do.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPINGON A FEW TOES.

Note to Readers:  Moving forward I will only be posting once/week on Fridays.  This may change at some point, but it’s a necessary adjustment that I need to make for the time being.  I appreciate your understanding.

photo:  http://patcegan.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/snake-shedding1.gif?w=640

Dog-Tired... But You Gotta Run

The main entrance to my apartment building remains locked and tenants must use a key to enter.  Fairly common, I suppose.  The other day I was walking with a heavy backpack, another satchel with my laptop, a bag of goodies from the drug store, and a bag of fresh fruit.  As I rounded the corner in front of the apartment building a lady was there wearing a huge smile on her face, holding the door for me.  Oh boy…so I mustered up every bit of strength my body would muster and I quickened my pace to a light jog so’s not to seem ungrateful for her act of random kindness.  Once I got inside it was all I could do not to just plop me and my stuff right on the floor and sit a spell.  Shoot!  I was tired. I just talked about the baggage we’ve all carried around at one time or another and there I was forced to dog’on near sprint with all arms and hands loaded.  I got a phone call just as I was unlocking my apartment door and the caller was asking why I was breathing like I’d just run a marathon.  I shared with him what just happened, we laughed a little and then it got us to thinking…  That’s what I want to share with you today.  Check this out.

First off, let’s go back so that I can analyze (I’m probably due to write a post on being over-analytical at some point, but just humor me for now) what just happened to me:

1. I was carrying a heavy load; managing, but it was definitely a struggle.

2. Rounding that corner put my “finish line” (the apartment building) in plain view.

3. The kind neighbor holding the door for me was actually a blessing.  It kept me from having to drop all my things, dig for my keys, unlock the door, and reload my bags.

4. Caveat:  In order to receive this blessing, I needed to quicken my pace.  In essence I had to “run” to it.

Let’s put it all together:  often times someone will hold the key to the very blessing you need, but in order to receive said blessing, heavy bags and all, you’ve got to run.  Anybody getting this?

Right there at the moment when you feel like you want to just stop for a minute and take a break…  At those moments when you are most tired... most worn out… After you’ve traveled so far already…  After your back is tired and your legs are weak…  During the moments when you feel your grip slipping and it would be so easy to let it all go… Right when you feel like you have had all you can take… then you get a glimpse of the finish line.  It’s still in the distance, but all of a sudden it’s within sight and you say a silent prayer that you’ve got enough wherewithal to keep it together just a bit longer.  This is it.  Home stretch.  And the self-talk begins.  “Come on, girl.  You’ve got this.  Don’t give up just yet.  You’re almost there.”  And as you whisper to yourself, weak and tired, an unknown angel appears just to lend you a helping hand.  But – and here’s where it gets tricky – YOU have to go to THEM and they will only wait so long for you to get there.  Well damn. 

“Don’t they know how tired I am?”

“Don’t they know how far I’ve traveled so far?”

“Don’t they know what I’ve had to go through just to make it here?”

“If they’re gonna bother to help me, why won’t they come to ME?”

“If I’ve gotta run, I don’t even want their help.”

“They can keep their stank blessing if it’s gotta be like this.”

“I didn’t ask for his/her help anyway.”

“I’ve always managed before without any help.  I’ll be fine.”

"Jasmynne, I don’t know what you’re talking about.  Give me an example."  OK – will do.  The same friend that called me as I was unlocking the door to my apartment shared this with me not too long ago.  I’ll spare you the details and just give you a couple of notes from Cliff (whoever he is).

A single mother is literally dirt poor.  She’s working at a fast food counter, doing the best she can to feed her young daughter.  And when I say dirt poor I’m talking down to her last few hundred dollars in the bank.  She had it worked out that after bills and rent she had something around $200 left to live off.  She’s at work one day when a guy comes in, notices her hair, and gives her his business card.  After speaking with this perfect stranger, she learns that he owns a beauty salon, and is offering her a station in his salon.  He dropped her initial booth rental fee down to $200.  If she could come up with the money, he had a spot for her.  Mind you, the same $200 that he’s asking her for is her only money to her name at this point.  That’s it.  The blessing was that this was a massive discount off of the standard booth rental fee.  So there he was…a perfect stranger…holding the door for another stranger.  It left her faced with a choice.  Run through this open door that he was holding, or ignore his kindness altogether and keep doing what she’s been doing.  Well, I’m sure you’ve guessed it.  She took a chance and sprinted to the offer she’d been given, and she made over $2,000 her first week on the job.  It paid off.  It more than paid off.

So again I say:  keep your eyes open.  Blessings come in all shapes and sizes and they can be delivered to us by virtually anyone.  It’s your job to recognize them when they appear; and up to you to run like the wind to get to them.  Every open door closes at some point.  Just make sure you’re on the right side when it does.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo:  https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd-9erKMYgoxmeaEPzjckQxKEXpgxsNBR4wj5eVOx_YCxiT-gG8N2wit6wH9meOrgjuIT7gQ5pL8UYE1QMwlxwMqkYSro4axFx3DL7ck6F-9UI3slxGwkQf0loVwM8ofF2NVAfMJZdQlNQ/s1600/am_week10_exhausted.jpg