Long Time -- No Write

Hey, guys!!  I know you have missed me, and even if you haven’t I’m telling myself that you have because it makes me feel better.  Truth is, I’m juggling so many things right now that I just flat out haven’t had the time for regular posts.  One of the projects I’m working on???  A BOOK!!  Yes – there, I said it!  Yours truly is working hard to get a book published before the end of this year.  Which means all my writing, creative energy is spent there as opposed to here in the blog.  But I’ll be honest =whisper= I miss blogging.  There’s something so special about the conversations I’m allowed to have in this open forum.  It’s a thing non-bloggers probably don’t get, and that’s cool.

But, I come to you today with great news!   STEPPING ON A FEW TOES will be hitting the stage next week!  I’m participating in HONEY & POISON which is a monthly solo artist showcase held in Brooklyn, and I’m super excited.  It’s a free event, so all New Yorkers are encouraged to attend.  Here are the details:

HONEY & POISON

Thur, Sept. 19, 2013 @ 8pm

Two Moon Art House

315 4th Avenue

Park Slope, Brooklyn

Gang, I miss you guys dearly.  New York is being good to me, but I’m very much still in a state of transition.  So much is happening behind the scenes that I’m really not at the place to speak on just yet, but I’m praying you’ll hang in there with me (pretty please).

In the meantime, get excited about Fall, because she’s on her way!  For us on the east coast it means, sweaters, boots, scarfs, and heavy coats.  For my west coast family it means long sleeved shirts and jeans.  No matter where you are you should be getting the feeling that 2013 will soon be wrapping up.  So make a mad dash for your finish line.  It’s not too late to start a new project or complete one that’s been hanging out on that back burner for a little too long.  Roll up your sleeves and commit to getting something done.

Love you guys!!  And we shall chat soon!

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

A Different Kind Of Puzzle

You don’t get me.

I’m not upset by it, nor am I bothered by it.  I just need you to know that you don’t get me.

You’ve never met anyone like me before, but because I resemble others you’ve dealt with in the past you’re inclined to treat me the same way you treat them.  Sorry.  That won’t fly.

I am so complex that I can’t even fully articulate my complexities.  I want things that I have never seen before.  I crave flavors that I’ve never tasted.  I dream of changing the world.  I have a desire to make an impact.  I’m not ok with mediocre.  I don’t have a complacent bone in my body.  I believe I can do all things and if you roll with me I need you to believe the same about yourself.  The world is my oyster and I intend to take all that has been laid out for me.  I don’t have time for your complaining.  Your whining gets on my last nerve.  Your negative energy is cancerous and I can’t run from it fast enough.  I’m not better than you; I’m just different.  I’m quirky.  Odd.  Perhaps strange even.  I wear gloves every day of the year.  I stroll with a parasol.  I am that anal about my skin.  I adore overcast skies.  I live for the sound of thunder.  I am unashamed of my naivety.  I will break my neck trying to do it myself before I ask anyone for help.  I always want to know why.  I will never be an animal rights activist.  I have a grand sense of adventure.  I don’t believe you’re ever too old for anything.  I don’t believe in talking; I believe in doing.  I hate procrastinators. 

Some of you have known me for years and you feel you know me well.  I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m sorry…chances are you know very little of me – and that’s not completely your fault.  I spent so many years trying to be what I thought others expected of me.  So many years trying to fit in.  So many years suppressing the real me, and it just got old.  So freaking tiring.  And to what end?  For what reason?  For who’s benefit?  For what purpose?  Did it get me any further?  Were the masses all that pleased with me?  It didn’t matter, because I wasn’t pleased with myself.  I wasn’t proud of who I was.  There was so much about me that I was keeping locked away not because I was afraid of what you might think, but because I feared you wouldn’t understand.  Well now I just don’t give a rip one way or the other.  It’s clear that most don’t understand why I do the things that I do, and that is A-ok with me.  I’ve learned to embrace my eccentricities and my weirdness in a way that keeps a smile planted on my face.  I’m good.  I’m so good and most of you don’t even get that.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

Keeping Your Cool: Part I

I had a conversation last evening with someone about the notion of being “cool,” and how one’s “coolness” can evolve and/or devolve as time passes.  Is it always true that the cool kids in grade school, high school and sometimes even college peaked too soon?  That’s as cool as they’ll ever get?  Once they leave their academic playgrounds it all goes to hell in a hand basket?  I hate to make broad generalizations, but it’s so often the case.  As we’re in school we look up to them even if only in silent admiration because they seem to have the all elusive “it.”  That special x-factor that allows them to exude charisma, confidence, and charm making them the center of popularity.  We look on in awe as they seem to have it all; everyone eating out of the palm of their hand and dancing to the beat of their drum.  We desperately want to be them, or at least experience a shred of the easy life we assume they’re living.

Now I’m not a psych major so I won’t pretend to know the ins and outs of the cool kids’ brains, but I’m willing to put money on the fact that their lives are never as “easy” as they appear or as we assume they are.  That’s just a little note for you.  What I really want to talk about is this whole “cool” thing.  You know what it really boils down to?

1. being your true self

2. pursuing your dream, no matter what it may be

3. having confidence

Mark my words sons and daughters; if you can conquer those three things, you are without a doubt “cool.”  It’s really as simple as that, but we make it so dog’on hard.  Most people will live their entire lives never having managed #1, and from where I sit if you can’t get #1 down #2 and #3 go right out the window. 

Why is it so difficult for humans to just be?  Be you.  Be yourself.  As long as you’re not bringing harm to others, why wouldn’t you want to be authentic to you?  It takes way more effort pretending, and it’s such a drag.  My gosh.  The fake smiles…the fake friends…the fake fun…  For who??   For what??  Seriously.  Who stands to gain from your pretending?  Who benefits from that nonsense?  You may think I’m talkin’ shop right now, but life is so much easier and freer when you allow you to be you.  And that could be where the academic cool kids fall short.  I’d be willing to bet most of them are pretending their way through popularity and by the time adulthood comes they’ve forgotten who they really are, and most of them may not know.  So now all of a sudden the uncool peeps have a leg up.  They’ve been nothing but themselves the whole while but never seemed to reap the benefits of living that “true” life.

Then it happens.  The heavens shift and the tables turn.  The cool become uncool and the uncool are now awesome.  I’m writing this with a smile on my face because I was nowhere near cool in school.  I don’t have to tell you what I am now, though…  That would be uncool.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo:  thinkingjewgirl.blogspot.com    

Nothing Is Wasted

For as long as I’ve known him, a good friend of mine has always said, “Nothing is wasted,” and it’s one of those things that you hear but you really don’t comprehend.  Like any other saying, it gets to be cliché over time, becoming nothing more than a string of words.  However, when I spoke to him last week, I think I finally comprehended it, as though I was hearing it for the first time. 

Nothing is wasted.  The Bible even says: all work produces profit.

This conversation with my friend came on the heels of me watching a vid of Tyler Perry doing his best to explain his secrets to success.  And to sum it up, TP essentially said all one can do is the work.  The only thing he could control was how many seeds he planted.

Let’s take a look at the agricultural analogy used.  A farmer studies his crop.  He tends to his soil to make certain the ground is fertile, and he plants his seeds at precisely the right time of year.  He’s done his job.  Unfortunately he can’t control the weather.  He has no clue whether it will be a perfect summer or if all of his crop will be destroyed by a horrific storm.  He could be heading into the longest drought in history, yet that doesn’t mean he’s failed as a farmer.  He did his part.

In the video Tyler goes on to explain that he lived a drought-like existence for many years before a raindrop hit his lips.  Today we see him as the mogul that he is.  It appears that any and every idea he has produces an abundance of fruit.  And that may well be true, but let’s go back to “Nothing is wasted.”  I believe that Tyler is not only reaping the benefits of the work he does today, but he’s also being rewarded for all those seeds he planted years before that didn’t bear fruit.   Nothing is wasted.  All work produces profit.  If you believe these things for yourself, it frees you to keep moving and it allows you to stop getting angry over what you don’t see.  You now understand there is no reason to doubt or complain about what you don’t have, because not one shred of your work, or of your effort will go to waste.  The only variable here lies with the seeds that you plant and the work you put in.  Once you’ve got this understanding, that’s really all you need to be concerned about, “What have I done?”   That’s it.  Are you continually planting seeds or do you get discouraged when you encounter a storm that destroys your work?  Do you get disgruntled and bent out of shape because you’re experiencing a period of drought?  How strong is your belief in you and the work that you’re doing?  If it’s rock solid you can rest easy because you truly understand that nothing is wasted.  Not a single drop of your work goes to waste.  Every ounce of your effort produces fruit.  All you have to do is be ready to handle the harvest that’s coming your way.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo:  http://www.gadgetreview.com

Gain Confidence. Gain Strength.

Have you ever gone to the movies by yourself?  Ever grabbed a table for one at a restaurant to enjoy some lunch or dinner?  Ever enjoyed some summer sun at the beach or in the park solo?  Ever dared to be seen at a bar, a party, or a club without a buddy or your entourage?  Are you settled and comfortable in your skin or do you feel like all eyes are on you when you’re out alone?  There’s something to be said for those individuals that have no problem going and doing all by themselves.  And for those that can’t seem to muster the courage to do so, I’ve gotta ask why.  What is it that keeps you from stepping out without the company of others?  Do you throw a stare of judgment to those that you see dining alone?  In secret do you have pity for them because they appear friendless in your eyes?  Or do you look on with envy wishing you had the guts to enjoy a spell of public solitude?  Either way, whether your stare is one of judgment or envy, the bottom line is the same.  You lack the confidence that they possess. 

Confidence is such a tricky thing because our family, friends and environment begin building up or tearing down our confidence when we’re infants.  The way we’re treated by our parents in our infancy directly impacts on how we interact with others once we begin school.  And how we’re treated in grade school directly impacts how we get along in high school.  And those high school and college interactions mold and shape our behavior for years to come.  So I get it and I hope others do as well.  When anyone talks about confidence, there’s a lifetime of interactions that need to be involved in that conversation.  It’s never as simple as what happened last week or last month.  If it were, it would be much easier to fix.  Confidence, over confidence, and lack of confidence are issues that run deep for us all and it’s nothing that comes with an over-the-counter cure.  This is an area that’s all about self-reflection and personal accountability.  It may take time, but the self-discovery is well worth it.  We should all make a point to examine our pasts to uncover those things that either gave us confidence or destroyed it.  Little by little you’ll begin to see where the right turns were made and what wrong ones to avoid in the future. 

Then it’s time to employ some personal responsibility.  Perhaps our parents weren’t perfect.  Maybe the kids on the playground were a little cruel.  But now we’re here and it’s time to make a decision not to let our past dictate our future.  It’s time for us to be confident IN SPITE of our pasts.  And trust me, it won’t happen overnight, and it’s not easy as pie – but it’s so dog’on empowering.  When you get to the place where you’re able to hold your head up high regardless of how you were picked on in school…regardless of how your parents treated you…regardless of what your high school friends thought of you… When you get to that place – there truly is no turning back and others will flock to you because you will have what they so desperately crave.

Confidence.  It’s a tricky thing, but it’s not impossible.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo:  www.stockfreeimages.com