Gain Confidence. Gain Strength.

Have you ever gone to the movies by yourself?  Ever grabbed a table for one at a restaurant to enjoy some lunch or dinner?  Ever enjoyed some summer sun at the beach or in the park solo?  Ever dared to be seen at a bar, a party, or a club without a buddy or your entourage?  Are you settled and comfortable in your skin or do you feel like all eyes are on you when you’re out alone?  There’s something to be said for those individuals that have no problem going and doing all by themselves.  And for those that can’t seem to muster the courage to do so, I’ve gotta ask why.  What is it that keeps you from stepping out without the company of others?  Do you throw a stare of judgment to those that you see dining alone?  In secret do you have pity for them because they appear friendless in your eyes?  Or do you look on with envy wishing you had the guts to enjoy a spell of public solitude?  Either way, whether your stare is one of judgment or envy, the bottom line is the same.  You lack the confidence that they possess. 

Confidence is such a tricky thing because our family, friends and environment begin building up or tearing down our confidence when we’re infants.  The way we’re treated by our parents in our infancy directly impacts on how we interact with others once we begin school.  And how we’re treated in grade school directly impacts how we get along in high school.  And those high school and college interactions mold and shape our behavior for years to come.  So I get it and I hope others do as well.  When anyone talks about confidence, there’s a lifetime of interactions that need to be involved in that conversation.  It’s never as simple as what happened last week or last month.  If it were, it would be much easier to fix.  Confidence, over confidence, and lack of confidence are issues that run deep for us all and it’s nothing that comes with an over-the-counter cure.  This is an area that’s all about self-reflection and personal accountability.  It may take time, but the self-discovery is well worth it.  We should all make a point to examine our pasts to uncover those things that either gave us confidence or destroyed it.  Little by little you’ll begin to see where the right turns were made and what wrong ones to avoid in the future. 

Then it’s time to employ some personal responsibility.  Perhaps our parents weren’t perfect.  Maybe the kids on the playground were a little cruel.  But now we’re here and it’s time to make a decision not to let our past dictate our future.  It’s time for us to be confident IN SPITE of our pasts.  And trust me, it won’t happen overnight, and it’s not easy as pie – but it’s so dog’on empowering.  When you get to the place where you’re able to hold your head up high regardless of how you were picked on in school…regardless of how your parents treated you…regardless of what your high school friends thought of you… When you get to that place – there truly is no turning back and others will flock to you because you will have what they so desperately crave.

Confidence.  It’s a tricky thing, but it’s not impossible.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo:  www.stockfreeimages.com