From Point A to Point B

If someone called you and asked that you bring them some soup what would you do?  Keeping our fingers crossed that you considered this person to be a friend you’d hop right into action, I’m assuming.  If you’re fresh out of ingredients as well as cans of Campbell’s and Progresso you’d drive to your nearest grocer to grab a can or two.  Without hesitation. Without question.  And no one would think you crazy or radical for doing so.  Soup is needed and you took the necessary steps to get some.  Simple as that.  Done and done.

 

But what if the need was something a tad greater than soup?  Let’s say your child has to complete a science fair project and he/she doesn’t have so much as a strip of construction paper.  My guess is you’d find your way to a craft store or at least the arts and crafts section at Target to gather the items needed to complete this project.  It just makes sense.  Though the trip may get delayed a day or two the task would still get done.  It’s clear your child will be unable to complete a satisfactory project without the proper tools.  Done and done.

 

Let’s go one step further.  You receive a wedding invitation from an out of town friend.  He/she is a close friend and this is a wedding you wouldn’t miss for the world.  You check your calendar and you don’t have any conflicts.  What’s your next move?  Well it’s not even something you need to ponder.  Your next move is researching flight and hotel info so that you can guarantee yourself the best possible rates.  Once you’ve gathered all the data you need, you book your trip.  Done and done.

 

There it is.  I’ve just given you three very realistic examples of solutions being applied to needs that have arisen.  And the solutions were easy.  None of them required a lot of thought.  Perhaps a little planning was involved but in each case the path from Point A to Point B was very clear. 

 

(A) Need soup.  >>>  (B) Go to grocery store.

(A) Need project supplies.  >>>  (B) Go to craft store.

(A) Need to attend out of town wedding.  >>>  (B) Book a flight.

 

Once the A’s were given to us, it was very easy to figure out what the B’s would be.  Very easy.  Yet so many will not apply this simplistic logic to their personal dreams and goals.  Instead they speak about the A’s as if they are complete mysteries that are never to be solved.

 

(A) I’ve always wanted to play the piano.

(A) I wish I knew how to cook.

(A) I want to learn a second language.

 

If these were the Point A’s that you were presented with, best I can tell the Point B’s seem rather simple to me:

 

(B) Take a piano lesson.

(B) Buy a cookbook and begin watching a cooking show or two.

(B) Sign up for a class at your local community college or enlist the aid of a friend that’s already fluent.

 

Those paths seem so clear, so easy, but so many will sit twiddling their thumbs for years muttering the exact same A’s over and over again.  Sounding quite silly if you ask me.  I mean, even if your need was to solve a Rubik’s Cube that’s even doable.  It’s doable and there is a clear path to the Point B – if you really want to get there.  And I think that’s the bigger question, and it’s probably the only question you should be asking yourself if you find yourself becoming a broken record of Point A’s.  Do you really want to learn the piano?  Are you really interested in learning how to cook?  How important is it that you learn a second language?  Do you really want to learn to paint?  Become a published author?  Live abroad?  Learn to salsa?  Become a pediatrician?  Volunteer?  How important are these things?  Are you serious about any one of them?  Because if you are, you can’t honestly tell me that you’re truly that puzzled on how to get from your Point A to the Point B you so desire.  It’s as easy as going to the market for a can of chicken noodle soup.  It really is just that simple.  But for some reason you’ve introduced difficulty where there needn’t be any present.  Why is that?  Do you fear you won’t be any good?  Or are you still kidding yourself that you’re waiting for the right time?  Please tell me you’re not still playing that game.  I thought you knew…  The time is never right and we’ve never saved up enough money.  There, I said it.  Never.  So if this is something that’s even slightly important to you, quit talking about it, and do something about it.  Otherwise you’ll be sitting on Point A for a lifetime missing out on all the fun to be had over on Point B.  You can do better.

 

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

 

photo:  http://www.winpossible.com/App_Themes/default/Images/Amsco_Images/linsegfig.JPG

Can You Smell Her?

Good morning all!  It’s Friday, November 9^th and I believe that between Superstorm Sandy and the election, I completely forgot that another month had, indeed, passed.  We’re in November!  We’re here, gang!  Can you believe it?!?!? More than a few kiddies have already begun their countdown to Christmas, and others are already making their New Year’s Eve plans – that’s how close we are to 2013.  I can smell her on the horizon, and she smells like opportunity and new beginnings.  But, including today, we’ve got 53 days to get through before we’ll see her.  So how ‘bout we buckle down and vow to make these last 53 days count for something?  It’s very possible.  No one said you have to wait until January 1^st to start anew.  Twenty-one days makes a habit and we’ve got 53 of ‘em to play with – so let’s get crackin!

As per uszh for the first of the month, here’s a look back at what I’ve been up to this year.  For any newbies to the blog, I set out to accomplish one new thing per month for 2012, and now it’s time for me to be accountable…

JANUARY

STEPPING ON A FEW TOES successfully completed another run by participating in Whitefire Theatre’s Solofest 2012.

FEBRUARY

I participated in another installment of URBAN LEGENDS, a poetry showcase held several times a year in Hollywood, CA.

I co-directed the short play THE BLACK HISTORY OF POLITICS written by Justin Key.

MARCH

I was a featured guest on the Rare Woman show, and the interview can be heard here: http://gvbradio.com/archives/rarewoman-031612.mp3

APRIL

I worked at this year’s Milk and Bookies (http://www.milkandbookies.org/), which is a celebrity charity event that focuses on literacy and giving books to children that don’t have access to books of their own. It was a wildly fun event and I was part of a host of character actors brought in to entertain the kids in attendance. The character I played? The White Rabbit from Alice In Wonderland, and yes – Alice was there with me. We had a blast.

In addition, I had the great fortune of being the guest on the Rare Woman radio show again last Friday. Feel free to listen here: http://gvbradio.com/archives/rarewoman-042712.mp3.

MAY

STEPPING ON A FEW TOES had a successful run of a show sponsored by the Rare Woman organization on May 12, 2012.

I was the guest speaker at A Celebration of Strong Women presented by The Dream Catcher’s Foundation on May 31, 2012.

JUNE

I worked as Associate Producer on CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE, an indie short written and directed by Nicolle Whalen. It’s a comedic film taking a look at how far one will go to secure funds for a film. In addition it gives perspective on the homeless living in Los Angeles. I had a small cameo in the film as well.

JULY

I have created my very first poetry CD. The title is STILL STANDING and it’s a compilation of some of my most intimate pieces, really letting you into the life and mind of the person that is Jasmynne Shaye. My poems are laid to original music by Jasonic Audio. I’m calling it the soundtrack of my life. Interested in owning your own copy? Email Noelle Ryan for info: soft_noelle@yahoo.com

AUGUST

I have been hired to be a regular contributor for the new online presence: YEAH I SAID IT MAGAZINE (http://yeahisaiditmagazine.com/). I was invited by the site's founder and creator, Bonnie Sludikoff, because of my unique writing style. With this site it is her goal to cultivate conversations that engage and enlighten at the same time. I am super excited to be a part of this fresh, new online space, and I can't wait to unleash my tongue on the world! Yeah, I said it! [More info regarding the site's official launch will be forthcoming.]

SEPTEMBER

I was one of three selected artists invited to provide entertainment at this year’s Miss California Ethnic World Pageant.  I performed an excerpt from my one-woman show, STEPPING ON A FEW TOES, and had an absolute blast.  It was a great opportunity and a wonderful experience.

OCTOBER

I worked as Associate Producer on a short film written by David Burrus Sr and David Burrus Jr.  It’s called PARANEGRO ACTIVITY and is an obvious take on the popular Paranormal Activity series.  The film is directed by Jaimyon Parker and it describes how events are likely to unfold if the film's freaky happenings were to take place within the home of an African American family.  The set was a ton of fun, and I’ll stop right there before I get to giving it all away.  As always, it was a blast to be able to team up with Jai Parker again.  His brilliance and creativity continue to blow me away.  Stay tuned for more updates on PARANEGRO ACTIVITY.

So that’s where I am, gang, and honestly, I couldn’t be any happier.  I’ll save the "end-of-the-year” talk for December since we’re not quite done yet – but it has been one helluva year and I can’t wait to see where I’ll be, come January 2013.  I have a feeling 13’s gonna be my lucky number.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo:  http://www.doctordisruption.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/sense-of-smell.jpg 

ELECTION DAY: Decision 2012

Taking a Deeper Look; Gaining Perspective

Here we go.  I’m gonna try to be as transparent as possible with you guys today.  This one is gonna be a little tough for me, not because I fear judgment or have any shame, but because you never want to be the one airing the dirty laundry of another.  That’s not my place.  So I’m stepping gingerly this morning, but I’m stepping nonetheless.

There are women in my family that have spent their fair share of time in physically abusive relationships and even as a grade school child, it never made any sense to me.  Why on God’s green earth would any person in their right mind willing sign up to be another person’s punching bag?  Why?  Why would they cry, complain, and get law enforcement involved time after time, just to again open the doors of their homes and hearts to the hurtful ones?  Why, as a woman, would you knowingly expose your children to such a relationship?  To such destruction…such terror…  I saw it in my own home and I saw it in the homes of other family members, and it just flat out left me baffled.  Scratching my head for answers and coming up with nothing.  It brought such sadness to me to see these supposed strong women let themselves get reduced to something less than human as they were yelled at, called names, slapped, punched and kicked around.  They were awful scenes and it was horrendous to watch.

I grew up hating them at times and having absolutely no respect for them.  Even as a kid I knew better.  In school we were learning the meaning of self-respect, and it was clear to me that these women had none.  If I knew anything, I knew I would never grow up to be like them.  I knew I would never let a lover, a friend, or otherwise beat me and treat me as if I were less than.  That’s a vow I made to myself as a child and I’ve carried it with me all my life.  I wanted no parts of what they had because I am better than that.

Well…God strikes again.  Just this week I’ve had the pleasure of meeting a woman who was in one of those ugly situations that I described earlier.  That was once the world she lived in, and she’s seen her life hanging in the balance.  Saving the emotional damage that comes with any abusive situation, she’s managed to come out on the other side whole and in one piece.  However it happened, our conversation tiptoed the topics of physical abuse and long before she began to share her personal story with me she said, “Jaz, I would ask and urge you to love those woman still.  Find it in your heart to have empathy for them because to live in the world they once lived in, you’ve got to be in a very dark place.”

She went on to as best she could, paint the picture of the mindset of the woman that stays in abusive relationships.  And for the first time in my life, I began to see the women in my family differently.  I actually hurt and felt sorry for them.  All these years I’ve been wagging an imaginary index finger in their faces calling them all kinds of stupid, dumb idiots – but my new friend has opened my eyes to a different point of view and I will be eternally grateful.

I will never know what it’s like to walk in the shoes that an abused woman wears, but I do have a much better understanding for the mental space they reside in.  And I can open my heart, and I can love them in spite of the mistakes I feel they make.  I can respect them regardless of what my eyes see.  And I can be there for them because I now recognize that though they may not voice it, they need me.

I’ve written posts before on perspective, and it’s a topic that never gets old.  I am super-duper grateful for crossing paths with this new friend and I’m honored and humbled that she trusted me enough to share.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo:  http://www.stockfreeimages.com

Pausing for a Moment

I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t send out a few warm thoughts and prayers for those that have been affected by Superstorm Sandy. Whether the damage was large or small I am thinking of you all.  I went to bed with you on my mind and the storm’s aftermath was the first thing I thought of this morning when I awoke.  I’m a native North Carolinian so I’ve grown up with hurricanes.  I’m very familiar with wading in ankle-deep water, I know a thing or two about boarding up windows, and I’ve even spent a night in a shelter.  But Sandy is something none of us have ever before experienced, and I just want you all to know that I am sincerely thinking of you, and praying that everyone is able to put the pieces of their lives back together sooner rather than later.  Keep your heads up and continue to remain positive.

For those that weren’t directly affected by Sandy, if you’re able, please think about giving to your local Red Cross.  Those that were directly hit will need as much help as they can get in the coming days and weeks.  If you’re able to donate time, unperishable food items, clothing, or monetary gifts, please consider doing so. 

That’s really all I want to say today. 

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

I Just Called To Say...

There’s a saying about what happens when you assume things.  I won’t bother to break it down for you right now.  If you’ve never heard of it ask someone or do a quick online search.  The point is that assuming can often times get us in trouble and today I want to focus on the damage that we can do when assumptions are made in personal relationships.

Before I get started I’m just gonna say:  whether it’s a friend, a parent or a sig fig, if there are people in your life that you truly cherish, love, and care about – let them know.

It seems to be that people only assume you need to be shown love if you happen to be presenting yourself in a state of mild – severe dishevelment, sadness, confusion, anger or angst.  If you appear to be happy, confident and put-together, the assumption is that you’re “all good.”  Well can I speak for all those that are appearing to the world to be “all good?”  No one is ever 100%.  I don’t care how much money you have, how confident you are, how well things are going for you, you STILL need to be shown love and affection.  That person still needs to be affirmed and encouraged by those that are close to them.  He/she still craves a hug or two from his/her close friends and confidantes.  And every now and then they still need a shoulder to cry on.  Yes. Even the ones that appear to have it all together still need a listening ear and a shoulder every once in a while.  So stop assuming that they’re always “all good.”  You gotta stop that.  Even though they may walk through life every single day with their heads held high please stop assuming that they need no one.  Please don’t assume that they have no troubles.  Please don’t assume that nothing bothers them.  Please don’t assume that they have no bad days.  You can’t do that.  Even the pastor at church appreciates it when someone is genuinely interested in how they’re doing.  We’re all human, and we all want to know that someone cares or is at least concerned about our well-being.  And I don’t mean to paint a picture of a person that’s barely keeping it together, that may be the case a time or two, but all I’m saying is that even the best of us have bad days – even if we don’t show it.  And sometimes we’re looking to our close friends just to say, “Hey, we haven’t talked in a while.  How are things.”  That’s all we want.  We want you to mean it when you ask, but we just need to know that you care.  It’s comforting to know that even though I may appear “all good,” I’m not alone.  You don’t have to hold my hand as I go to the restroom and I’m not asking you to tuck me in at night, but it sure would be awesome if you inquired every once and again.  Just check in with me.  Virtually pop your head in via email even.  Just a little something to let me know that I’ve been on your mind and you’re taking the time to show me.  And again, this goes for anyone of value in our lives.  Anyone.  Think about how good you’ve felt when someone did something for you just because.  Not for a birthday.  Not for Christmas or some other significant holiday – but just because.  It made you feel great!  Special!  Like someone out there gave a darn.  That’s awesome, and each of us holds the power to create those moments with another.  And the “gifts” needn’t be anything tangible.  Often times just a simple phone call to say, “You were on my mind,” is more than enough to put a smile on someone’s face. 

I just want you to think about it.  As our weeks go by our head is filled with swillions of thoughts, many of which are about other people.  I’m only suggesting that we take a minute or two to let those individuals know they are being thought of.  There is such power in a simple gesture like that and it only takes an phone call, email, voice message, or a card in the mail.  Doesn’t take much, but it’s so worth it.  I think about the times that someone I haven’t spoken to in a while has called me just to check in – wow!  I felt so loved!  Whether we spoke for five minutes or an hour it completely made my day.  So I do my best to be that ray of sunshine for the special people in my life, and I’m just asking you to do the same.  You’ll be super-duper glad that you did!

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo: http://www.stockfreeimages.com