There’s a
saying about what happens when you assume things. I won’t bother to break it down for you right
now. If you’ve never heard of it ask
someone or do a quick online search. The
point is that assuming can often times get us in trouble and today I want to
focus on the damage that we can do when assumptions are made in personal
relationships.
Before I get
started I’m just gonna say: whether it’s
a friend, a parent or a sig fig, if there are people in your life that you
truly cherish, love, and care about – let them know.
It seems to
be that people only assume you need to be shown love if you happen to be
presenting yourself in a state of mild – severe dishevelment, sadness,
confusion, anger or angst. If you appear
to be happy, confident and put-together, the assumption is that you’re “all
good.” Well can I speak for all those
that are appearing to the world to be “all good?” No one is ever 100%. I don’t care how much money you have, how
confident you are, how well things are going for you, you STILL need to be
shown love and affection. That person
still needs to be affirmed and encouraged by those that are close to them. He/she still craves a hug or two from his/her
close friends and confidantes. And every
now and then they still need a shoulder to cry on. Yes. Even the ones that appear to have it all
together still need a listening ear and a shoulder every once in a while. So stop assuming that they’re always “all
good.” You gotta stop that. Even though they may walk through life every
single day with their heads held high please stop assuming that they need no
one. Please don’t assume that they have
no troubles. Please don’t assume that
nothing bothers them. Please don’t
assume that they have no bad days. You
can’t do that. Even the pastor at church
appreciates it when someone is genuinely interested in how they’re doing. We’re all human, and we all want to know that
someone cares or is at least concerned about our well-being. And I don’t mean to paint a picture of a
person that’s barely keeping it together, that may be the case a time or
two, but all I’m saying is that even the best of us have bad days – even if we
don’t show it. And sometimes we’re
looking to our close friends just to say, “Hey, we haven’t talked in a
while. How are things.” That’s all we want. We want you to mean it when you ask, but we
just need to know that you care. It’s comforting
to know that even though I may appear “all good,” I’m not alone. You don’t have to hold my hand as I go to the
restroom and I’m not asking you to tuck me in at night, but it sure would be
awesome if you inquired every once and again.
Just check in with me. Virtually
pop your head in via email even. Just a
little something to let me know that I’ve been on your mind and you’re taking
the time to show me. And again, this
goes for anyone of value in our lives.
Anyone. Think about how good you’ve
felt when someone did something for you just because. Not for a birthday. Not for Christmas or some other significant
holiday – but just because. It made you
feel great! Special! Like someone out there gave a darn. That’s awesome, and each of us holds the
power to create those moments with another.
And the “gifts” needn’t be anything tangible. Often times just a simple phone call to say, “You
were on my mind,” is more than enough to put a smile on someone’s face.
I just want
you to think about it. As our weeks go
by our head is filled with swillions of thoughts, many of which are about other
people. I’m only suggesting that we take
a minute or two to let those individuals know they are being thought of. There is such power in a simple gesture like
that and it only takes an phone call, email, voice message, or a card in the
mail. Doesn’t take much, but it’s so
worth it. I think about the times that
someone I haven’t spoken to in a while has called me just to check in – wow! I felt so loved! Whether we spoke for five minutes or an hour
it completely made my day. So I do my
best to be that ray of sunshine for the special people in my life, and I’m just
asking you to do the same. You’ll be
super-duper glad that you did!
My name is
Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING
ON A FEW TOES.
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