I’ve talked
about “shedding” in the past, and it’s a subject that I want to revisit
today. I don’t plan on writing at length
today, primarily because I don’t have the time, so I will try to make my point
as quickly and succinctly as possible.
Not everyone
has your back. Not everyone has your
best interests at heart. Not everyone is
excited to see you succeed. Some people
are actually hoping and praying for you to fail.
Sometimes
those people are your closest friends.
Just because you’ve
known him or her since childhood doesn’t mean it’s a relationship that you have
to carry with you to your grave. If you
are earnestly on your journey and focused on your mission, God will always
continue to put the right people in your path.
I know that, and even though I believe it with
every fiber of my being, (because I’ve seen it happen in my own life) I'm still preaching to myself as I type. Even still, you have to know and believe it for yourself as well.
This is a
tough one. It really is. You’ve known them for a decade or more… You
guys have been telling each other everything for years… This is the one person that knows everything
there is to know about you… Ya’ll have
so much history… You can’t just up and
throw that away, right? Friendships are
worth fighting for, right? Yes. Of course.
Some of them are. Absolutely, and
I don’t aim to sound as if no one you know if worth two cents. That’s not what I mean at all.
That word
again: shedding.
Sloughing off
old things that no longer fit and that no longer work, to make space for new things
(and people) that do: shedding.
Most of you
know exactly what I’m talking about because you’ve already experienced it in
your own lives. That unexplainable “weirdness”
that is so thick in the air between you and your bestie all of a sudden. You can’t figure if you’ve changed or if they’ve
changed; all you know is things are different.
What ends up
happening most of the time is the Big Blowout.
It’s that fight, argument, or situation that finally puts the two of you
head-to-head and at complete odds. It
ends nastily and both of you walk away believing this ‘thing’ was the reason
for your relationship’s ultimate demise.
It happens to college roommates all the time. But let me tell you, the Big Blowout isn’t
what broke the friendship. Know it or
not, you guys were on a slow decline and it was just a matter of time before
you drifted apart and away from each other for good and forever. The Big Blowout only sped up the
process. Trust me, that was a friendship
that wasn’t gonna last forever. The Big
Blowout just put a lot of ugly in your face all at once, and you could hide
from it no longer.
You will
always have fond memories of this person, but their season was up. That was someone you were spending way too
much time with anyway. It was necessary
for you to shed them so that you could clear some space for the awesomeness
that was awaiting you around the corner.
Relationships of any kind should be rewarding, uplifting and
motivating. A friend just told me on Wednesday
that relationships are only worth holding on to if you’re being “fed” in some way. He said once you’re no
longer being “fed,” it’s time to call it quits, and I can’t help but agree.
I won’t argue
that this kind of shedding isn’t met with an immediate feeling of loneliness – but
it’s temporary. On the upside you feel lighter, completely rejuvenated, and you'll have a sense
of freedom you hadn’t experienced in years.
Meditate on what I’ve said, but ultimately listen to the inner voice
that guides your way. Only you know if
this is a relationship worth fighting for, or one that you’ve got to shed. Negative or positive be ready and willing to
live with the consequences of your decision.
As for me? I’m feeling very
reptilian, and I know what I’ve got to do.
My name is
Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPINGON A FEW TOES.
Note to Readers:
Moving forward I will only be posting once/week on Fridays. This may change at some point, but it’s a
necessary adjustment that I need to make for the time being. I appreciate your understanding.
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