On My Journey

I’m an over achiever.  I am definitely a perfectionist and I’m very task and goal oriented.  And though these are things I’m proud of, I am not in the least bit trying or meaning to brag.  I wish I had a little more “go with the flow” in my DNA; I think life would be easier to live and maybe even a tad more fun for me.  Not that it’s a complete chore right now, it’s just that I haven’t quite got the handle of “taking it easy.”  I only know how to work; how to complete; how to build; how to accomplish.  I don’t really know anything else.  And in all of that I’m striving for perfection in myself and I seek it in others as well – and there’s the tricky part.  That’s when the challenges arise.  I think it’s ok to push myself to the edge and back.  I love trying to squeeze blood out of the turnip that is me – that’s what I live for!  But I’m realizing not everyone else does, and I have to learn to be ok with that.  I’ve at one time or another found myself in personal and/or working relationships with people that in some form or fashion compromised my integrity and all I could do was search for the EXIT door.  Counting the days until the whole thing was over.  Wishing to God I’d never been attached to these people.  The entire situation became agony, burdensome, and just flat out painful; seeming to suck out the very essence of me leaving a dried up, ugly shell behind.  The whole while I’m hating myself for being involved.  

Then someone said to me, “Never let yourself feel like a victim.  YOU know what your objective is and YOU know who you are in your heart.”  He went on to say that if I let myself feel powerless then I was powerless.  He reminded me who I was and told me that just because my name is Jasmynne Shaye I resonate strength and power.  He reminded me that everything is a means to an end – and that’s when it clicked.  In dealing with the junk I had somehow forgotten my purpose and he reminded me of that.  He urged me to focus on that and only that.  And even when I complained about being surrounded by negativity he said, “It takes a mix of negatives and positives to make a whole.  We can not only focus on the positive outcomes and aspects of life.”  He reminded me that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and he said, “We all want the positive results and outcomes, but you can’t get there without a journey.”  He said, “Jasmynne, this is just enhancing your ability to adjust.”  And that’s when I got excited because the pig-slop of a situation that was bringing me down would only be temporary.  The growth and life lessons I would learn while on my journey – well, those are permanent.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.