Are You Listening?

So far my Tuesday is shot to hell.  Every plan has been thwarted and the posting that I’d hope to write earlier this morning has somehow seemed to escape my mind completely.  But I’m a trooper and I’m a soldier, and I’ve promised new posts every Tues and Fri and I’m not gonna let a botched day get in the way of that.  My hope is that something half-way decent makes it on the page before I sign off.

Let’s see…I took in some improvisational comedy last night and it was great therapy.  As I watched them perform I was reminded about the power of listening.  Listening intently.  There is no way that a Harold can flow from scene to scene unless every party involved is listening – with both ears.  Everything being said is a possible cue and/or clue to the team’s performing partners.  There is no room for, “Can you repeat that?”  or  “What did she say?”  or  “What color was the hat?”  There is none of that.  It’s mentioned and either you got it or you didn’t.  And if you missed it, you may have missed an opportunity for a great joke – shame on you for not listening.  Improv is a beast and it’s not for everyone.  You’ve got to be quick and you’ve got to be able to clearly make your point so that you don’t lose your audience.  It only takes two seconds for your audience to get bored if they’re tangled in a web of exposition while you’re desperately searching for a joke.  Naw…that won’t work, and you’ll die a slow death on stage using that kind of delivery.  Then it got me to thinking…real life isn’t all that different.  So often major feuds and disagreements are had because of miscommunication and poor listening skills.  I don’t care how old they are, I don’t know a person alive that doesn’t want to be heard.  That’s all of us.  Every single one of us at one point or another just wants to get our point across – without interruption and without judgment.  Have you ever talked to someone and it seemed like they couldn’t wait for you to take a brief pause so that they could take ownership of the whole conversation?  Or what about talking to those people that never come up for air and you can’t seem to get in a word edgewise and they don’t seem to care?  Or what about the ones that ask you the same questions over and over again; making it evident that they weren’t listening to you the first, second or third time they asked?  Isn’t that frustrating?  Hell yeah it is, and I’d venture to say that as noble as we think we are, we’ve probably all been at fault a time or two.  So embrace the fault as a wonderful opportunity for improvement.  One of the best compliments someone can give me is to tell me that I’m a great listener.  That lets me know that I’m not only doing my job, but that I’m also being a friend when it counts – and that matters to me.  And it should matter to you too, because the simple technique of ‘power listening,’ I’ll call it, can strengthen all of your relationships and you’ll find that by closing your mouth and opening your ears, communicating gets so much easier.  Be brave and try it.  I dare you.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.