Be Free

Thank God it’s FRIDAY!  Whew!  What a week?!?  What a last couple of weeks!  Goodness – I.  Am.  Tired.  We just wrapped filming yesterday, and I’m thankful.  My body is thankful.  I was barely drinking any water because we were filming all kinds of places, and didn’t always have easy access to a restroom.  My skin and my body has suffered because of it.  I feel like I’ve aged 10 years…looking all kinds of haggard and beat to hell.  But it’s done.  It’s over – at least this phase – and I met a lot of wonderful people.  One in particular inspired my posting today, and I can’t wait to dig in!

So this guy is one of the principals in the film, and he’s a stone-cold fool.  A straight up class clown.  Hyper as hell, always dancing or singing or both.  Like he’s giving the Energizer bunny a run for it’s money.  THAT style.  And he’s hilarious.  A natural comedian that seems to have no shame and no boundaries. 

So as we sat around yesterday I asked him, “Did you just get on all of your teachers’ nerves?  Were you that guy?”  And he told me he was quite the opposite.  He said it wasn’t until later that he came out of his shell, so to speak.  Then I got to wondering what was the trigger that broke him loose.  One doesn’t go from being the quiet kid to practical jokester overnight without some kind of catalyst.  And this is what he said, “I stopped caring.  I stopped caring what people thought of me.”

And when those words left his lips I got so envious and I felt like such a fool, because I knew EXACTLY what he meant and what he was talking about.  What comes across as an over-hyped class clown was just someone with no inhibitions.  What I thought was a stone-cold fool was me – behind closed doors.  He was no different from me!  I’m the clown and I’m the fool, but I’ve been too afraid to completely let loose.  To unleash.  To stop caring.  All of a sudden I felt like I was sitting at the feet of the wisest person ever when he said, “If you don’t care and have confidence at the same time, you’re unstoppable.  Be free.”  I don’t know if that hit home with anybody else, but it rocked me to my core.  He has given me the courage and the ok to be me.  All of this time I’ve thought I was a weird, awkward outcast, but I’m not.  I’m definitely an individual and there’s nothing wrong with that.  But I’ve not given anyone the opportunity to really get to know ME.  I’m giving everyone a watered down version of myself and now I know I don’t have to.  The wise man told me that it may not come easy at first.  He said when you first begin to break out, the initial reactions you receive from others will take some getting used to, but then it’s all gravy.  But no matter what:  confidence is key.  He said, “If you believe it, then they’ll believe it.”  What?!?!  It’s about to be a brand new day up in here.  The next time you see me just know that I’m not high.  I’m not drunk, and I’m not sleep deprived.  I’ve just stopped caring what you think, and I’ve decided it’s ok to be me.  The wise man’s name?  Juhahn Jones.  He gave me my life back.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.