It's a Crown I No Longer Want

I was once Queen of Having the Last Word.  If I didn’t agree with your stance, or I felt like you were being an idiot, or I felt like you wronged me, I wanted to make sure you knew exactly how I felt.  And I came to the argument prepared with spreadsheets and examples to back up my claims.  It was almost like I was just waiting for the opportunity to shove my resources in your face.  My charts, my graphs, my ear-marked calendar noting each prior malfeasance.  I was over-prepared and you never stood a chance.  I came to the battlefield ready to do harm, and I wasn’t leaving until my mission was accomplished.  No matter what you said or pled I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t stop until I’d reduced you to nothing; and so it was.  The discussion wasn’t over until I’d had the last word. 

Yeah, that was me.  The best attorney had nothing on me.  I could argue anyone under the table and I had more exhibits than The Met.  And I left the whole thing feeling like I was on top of the world.  Oh my gosh – the rush!  It was amazing.  Then somewhere along the way it all changed for me.  Can’t really remember the sequence of events, but something changed and I stopped caring.  I realized I’d given you way too much power.  Look at what I’d become.  A collector of exhibits.  Holding on to them all until just the right time.  Until I’d gather enough Intel to cut you off at the knees.

Good Lord!  Think of the time I wasted trying to make you look incompetent?  All the productive things that I wasn’t getting done because I was too busy tracking your dirty deeds.  I realized that even though you didn’t know it, you were in control.  So without saying a word, I took it back and promised that I’d never let another human being drive me to that point ever again.

So how do I handle it today?  I don’t.  I let you have the last word and I walk away.  No need for me to hang around for final summations, ‘cause I really don’t care that much.  I realized how valuable my time and a clear mind are.  Give you space in my head?  Not anymore.  Never.  Be my guest…the last word is all yours.  You can have it.  I want nothing to do with it.  Good luck doing battle with yourself.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo credit:  http://www.crowndesigners.com/en/images/uploads/K-132-S-A.jpg