Here's the Name of the Game

Even if you’ve got lint in your pockets, if you have a healthy dose of confidence and buckets of belief in yourself you could buy a small island.  Never mind what the facts say.  Never mind what your friends say.  And I know I’ve been on this soapbox a time or two before, but you’re just gonna have to bear with me as there is a very personal story tied to this posting.  A dear friend of mine, whose name I won’t say, has tested my patience to the last and I can’t stay quiet any longer. 

My friend has been an aspiring writer for fifty years.  That’s more years than I’ve been alive.  For fifty years he’s been telling family and friends that he’s chasing a dream and he’s been lying the whole time.  Sure he’s completed over thirty manuscripts, but he’s never had any intention on doing a thing with any of them.  Paper on top of paper shoved into this closet, that cabinet and the drawer over there.  Ideas for stories doodled on napkins and the backs of envelopes.  Bragging about his great American novel…all of this for fifty years.  I’m certain your first thought is that all his scribblings are garbage; nothing more than one-two-buckle-my-shoe.  Well, you’d be wrong.  And this is where I begin to lose my cool.  He’s a master storyteller that can weave words just as good as the greats, if not better.  He’s got a God-given gift wrapped in talent and skill that most only dream of.  So what gives, right?  He’s got the dream. He’s got the talent.  And he even has the finished products. He’s got FINISHED PRODUCTS.  Products.  With an “s” on the end.  Did you get that?  I can barely finish a short story and he has novels and full-length plays by the dozens…and they’re good.  Now the only question worth asking is, “Why don’t I know this guy’s name?  Why aren’t his books covering the windows of the few remaining bookstores out there?  Why isn’t there a thumbnail of his book cover on Amazon’s home page?”  I’ll tell you why.  Because for fifty years he hasn’t had the confidence to pound the pavement.  For fifty years he hasn’t truly believed he would make it.  For fifty years he’s been afraid to carry on a conversation with anyone that may be able to change his life for the better.  He’s shied away from aggressively pursuing literary representation or contacting publishers for fear of further rejection.  Let me go one more step.  On those few occasions where he did get positive feedback from someone that was in a position to help him, he ran away.  He gathered his papers and took the first flight back home.  Now I never really thought there was a such thing as having a fear of success until I met him.  And even though I see it right before my eyes, it’s a concept that I still don’t understand.  How can you want something so dog’on bad and not want it at the same time.  Hope and pray every night for this very thing, yet push it away with every bit of strength you’ve got.  Not only how do you do it, but why?  And that’s a why only he can answer, but I hate sitting on the sidelines watching my friend pretend to take two steps forward when in fact he’s gone nowhere.  I hate it.  And even more so I hate that I believe in him more than he believes in himself.  I hate that he’s too afraid to go out in the world and claim what’s rightfully his.  That he prefers the safety of his home.  That he’s ok with smiling to his friends and family as he talks about the pretend strides he’s making.  The fake progress.  The phony advances.  I hate that he will sacrifice and give his last for me, but he won’t do it for himself.

I don’t know if this is making sense to anyone other than me, but what I want to impress upon anyone with a dream and a shred of intellect is:  YOU CAN GET THERE, but it’s gonna mean you’ve got to take some steps.  I don’t know of a thing that we want that comes to us.  We have to go out and get it and we can’t be afraid of getting a few bumps, bruises, and scrapes along the way.  Do you think the winner of a boxing match comes out untouched?  It’s possible.  Maybe Iron Mike in his heyday, but that’s about it.  Even the winners look like hell by the end of it all – but they won!  They won and it made all the nicks and scratches worth it.  Battle wounds don’t hurt half as bad if you’re holding the trophy at the end of the war.  So as you’re looking at the road ahead that I’m sure looks spooky and ugly as hell – don’t focus on the valleys and peaks on the trail, focus on the end point, the destination.  Who gives a rip what you have to go through to get there?  You just have to get there.  And if you don’t have enough confidence and belief in yourself that you can make it, I assure you you won’t.  Stay home and don’t waste your time.  Take a nap.  Rest up for the lifetime of fake accomplishments you’re about to have.  But if you don’t want that to be your end result it doesn’t have to be.  And I know for sure I’ve said that before and I mean it with every fiber of my being.  You have the power to change you at any time.  Most people never will, but it’s very possible.  You just have to dig down deep inside and figure out who you really are, what you really want, and what’s really important to you at the end of the day.  I’m doing a lot of talking here, but this is important stuff.  YOU. HAVE. TO. BELIEVE. IN. YOU.  You have to.  And if you couple that belief with even a slice of confidence you will soar.  You will literally grow wings and take flight – ok, maybe not literally, but you get my meaning.  Listen.  I love to see my friends succeed and I want them all to do well and achieve the goals they set for themselves.  Seeing their accomplishment builds my belief and fuels my excitement.  So I need their success just as much as I need my own.  And whether you’ve been chasing your dream for five years or for fifty years it’s all the same.  Your destiny can change in a second but it all starts with you.  Do you want to run a marathon, start a family, go to law school, buy your dream house, be a cartoonist, invent a new iPhone app, win a Grammy, cure a disease, start your own business, help the less fortunate, win an Academy Award, or write the next great American novel?  Whatever it is that you want you can have it.  It’s all possible and it’s all within reach.  You just have to confidently say, “I believe.”  Then you have to take your first step and vow to yourself that you’ll take your second step the following day.  The name of this game is, “don’t stop.”  That’s how you’re gonna make it to the end.  Don’t stop.  Listen.  I believe in you, but it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans if you don’t believe in you.  If you’re ready we can take the first step together.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo credit:  http://www.stockfreeimages.com/651686/Game-cube.html