Create “Me Moments”

When most people hear the term “self-love” their thoughts tend to gravitate toward visuals of tree-huggers, save-the-whalers, folks carrying canvas bags while wearing recycled clothing, and Tony Robbins grinning his big grin to a coliseum full of gullible fools.  And though all these things can stem from aspects of self-love, the concept itself goes so much deeper than this.  Self.  Love.  Loving yourself.  In its simplest form once could just ask, “How do you treat someone that you love?  Romantically or otherwise?”

-- You are genuinely concerned about their well-being.

-- You communicate with them frequently.

-- You trust them.

-- You encourage them. 

-- You support them.

-- You make time for their needs.

-- You celebrate their accomplishments.

-- You’re honest with them.

-- You don’t belittle them.

-- You allow them to vent.

-- You’ve got their back.

-- You don’t let them go astray.

-- You give to them without expectation.

-- You relax with them.

-- You make future plans with them.

-- You remind them that they are loved and cared for.

Can you apply the list above to your mother?  Your father?  Your siblings?  Your significant other?  Your spouse?  Chances are most will apply to the important people in your life – but do they apply to you?  Do you treat yourself the same way you treat them?  And before you answer, take another look at the list.  Study it and ask for each item if it applies to how you treat yourself.  And miss me with the old, “I don’t have time” bit.  Let me tell you, you make time for the stuff that’s important to you.  You make time.  Each night when the clock strikes 12 midnight we have exactly 24 hours before it reaches midnight again.  Twenty-four hours.  We’re all given the exact same amount of time each day – that’s one thing I am certain of.  And it’s up to you how you choose to use those precious hours.  And even if you’re a mom – one kid…five kids… you have to make time for you.  You gotta’.  The kids need you functioning at 100% at all times.  And though that may not always be possible, there are certainly measures that you can take to ensure your tank never falls below 80%.  And it’s all up to you.  No one else can read your tank except you.  Folks may see you begin to look a little raggedy and haggard if you fall below 50%, but they may not always know the reason(s) why.  But you do.  You know that you’ve put everyone else ahead of you and now you’re resenting them for it.  Well, sunshine, I hate to tell ya, but it’s not their fault.  It’s no one’s job but yours to refill your tank and take “me moments” every now and again.  You have to.  You’re worth it.  And, if I’m being honest, we hate the way you look when your tank falls below 50%.  Handle that.  I’m asking you to love yourself.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.