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Sunday, March 24, 2013

Don't Scrub Away Your Identity



I’ve been away for a while…my apologies, but I needed to get my bearings.  Not to worry, I’m still here with bells on, kicking and screaming and still very much on my grind.  This is the last week of March, which also means that Q1 of 2013 is about to come to an end.  One quarter down…three to go.

I’ve devoted more than one blog post to “being yourself” and the notion of “loving you for you.”  I want to step back in the ring with those topics again today.  You’ll have to forgive me for being redundant, but this is what’s on my heart, and truth be told, more of you need to hear it than are willing to admit.

When I was living in Los Angeles, a friend gave me a belt made from old soda bottle caps.  It’s a pretty neat belt.  The buckle is fashioned like the buckle of seatbelt and though I’ve had it for more than a couple years now, I always get a compliment/comment or two when I wear it.  Here in New York, a girl said to me, “Nice belt!  I wish I could get away with wearing something like that!”

I thanked her for her compliment, but I couldn’t help feeling sorry for her.  I mean, come on – it’s a belt.  Not at all run-of-the-mill, but a belt nonetheless.  Why can’t she get away with wearing it?  What’s stopping her from putting on something of its kind?  She spoke as if I was wearing a Lady Gaga’esque costume of sorts.  It was a belt.  Not an extravagant headdress.  Not a purple wig (of which I also own and wear with pride).  Not stilts.  Not a risqué French maid uniform fit for Hugh Hefner’s crib.  It was a belt.  And even though she liked it, and the fashion statement it represented, she had such a low opinion of herself and/or low self-image, that she won’t allow herself to even think of wearing it.  At the end of the day she’s too concerned with how she will be perceived by others if she were to don this article of clothing.  It’s not so much that she “can’t get away with it,” because come on – you can wear whatever you feel like wearing.  We’re talking about New York for goodness sake.  You’d have to go out of your way to look weird here.  And by the by…no one cares.  Everyone is much too busy with their own stuff to even take the time to give you and your wardrobe (no matter how fancy you think you are) a second look.  No one cares.  And girl – we’re still talkin’ about a belt here.

But even if we broaden the scope, the message is still the same.  If your t-shirt is not offensive to others: wear it.  If your shoes aren’t gonna cause you to trip on the sidewalk: wear them.  If you like hot sauce on your potato chips: go for it.  If you don’t want to follow the career path that your parents have chosen for you: do it as diplomatically as you can, but speak up for yourself and let your voice be heard. 

Be you.
Love you.

It’s your individuality that makes you interesting.  If you’re totally consumed with fitting in and being like everyone else, what makes you special?  That’s almost like scrubbing away your fingerprint which just sounds foolish.  Don’t scrub you away.  When you think about your favorite contestants on American Idol, The Voice, So You Think You Can Dance, and/or America’s Next Top Model; they’re your favorites because they stood out in some way.  There was something memorable about them.  They left an impression.  Why should you be afraid to do the same thing?

Be the real you, and we will only love you more.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

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