See The Possibilities & Love Their Potential

I believe it to be a very noble thing to choose to see someone as their potential as opposed to scrutinizing their faults. Very noble, indeed. And you know what I mean. Especially the parents out there. In those moments when your son or daughter has behaved less like an angel and more like something else; you can either cut them at their knees cursing the day they were born, or you can continue to love and support them because though they don't quite see it yet – you see more. You're able to look beyond today's mishaps and see them as the being they are meant to become. You have no problem forgiving their blunders, small and large, because you know for a fact that this sort of behavior is only temporary.

I know this is an area that parents are all too familiar with. Teachers as well. Pick any school, and any grade and you'll find a teacher that has at one time or another believed in a student much more than said student was able to believe in themselves. I think this gentle-hearted attitude can also be found in romantic relationships. As a mater of fact, I know it can.

Someone recently shared a story with me about a couple that has been together for more than thirty years. Today what everyone sees is a strong, rock solid marriage that most will only taste in their dreams. But when I learned of how this couple's relationship began, I realized they have come a very long way...

At the onset of their dating relationship, the man was a bit of a loose cannon while the female was a bit more traditional, refined, and put together. He was into things, people and activities that she could not be paid to be involved in, yet she stayed. She continued dating a man that, on the outside, appeared to be nothing but trouble. He was an absolute mess, and it seemed he really had nothing to offer her. Yet she stayed.

I didn't get a blow-by-blow of the in's and out's of the courtship, because I didn't need them. The story was already becoming very clear to me. I learned that she stayed because even in his chaos she saw the potential for greatness. As he wandered aimlessly she somehow knew where the course would lead. She saw his strength before he had any. She saw his power when he was weak. She may well have been the only person that could have tolerated his rambunctious behavior, killing him with kindness the whole way through.

And I know it took me a while to get here, but that's the point I want to make to you today. In human interactions you have no control over how the other person will behave. You have no control over their actions nor over the words they speak. But you have COMPLETE control over your own. No matter what the circumstance is, you have 100% control over how you respond and react to it. Every emotion you feel, I'm sure, has a valid point of origin and I don't discount that; but it's your choice to operate in a tit-for-tat space or in a space of love and kindness.

Someone steps on your shoe, so you step on theirs.

Someone calls you a name, so you call them a worse name.

Someone makes a comment that rubs you the wrong way, so you give them the tongue lashing of the century.

Sure. Absolutely. You have every right to respond in that manner, and I won't sit here and say otherwise. But I will say those responses/reactions aren't the only ones available to you. Those may be the easiest to access in your bag of tricks – I'll give you that, but they aren't the only things in the bag. And it definitely takes some time to respond with love when the other person seems to be hating everything about you. It is no easy task, because if it were everyone would be doing it; but it's a task worth putting to practice.

Back to the story of that husband and wife...they are now strong examples in their community of what a supportive, loving couple looks like. But please understand they would have never gotten there if not for the patience, understanding, and the love the now wife showed her then boyfriend when he was behaving less than favorably. It's something for all of us to think about.

I'm not suggesting you be a doormat and put up with every bit of silliness and shenanigans that gets thrown your way. But I am saying in those moments when you see potential in that other person...exercise a little patience. Choose love over bitterness and anger. That may be just the bit of encouragement he/she needs to get their act together.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo: www.stockfreeimages.com