Slide Into Your Happiness

Two months down and we have managed to crawl our way into March.  Already – right?  And my, oh my, am I feeling good.  I truly am.  I literally feel like I’m bursting at the seams with energy, and my heart is heavy with hope, faith, belief and excitement.  The only thing I really want to share with everyone today is happiness and the fact that it’s out there for the taking.  Each and every one of you is due your slice and your fair share.  If you are stuck living a life that doesn’t bring you happiness; it’s your fault.  If you are not being completely fulfilled in your current day-to-day; you have the power to change that.  If you have dreams that you’ve locked away; you still possess the key to bring them out of hiding.  If you look in the mirror and you hate the person you’ve become; I’m telling you now – you no longer have to be that person if you don’t want to be.  Happiness and fulfillment are well within your reach and you can have them both.  You should have them both, and you should only be disappointed with yourself if you don’t. 

Listen.  If you say to a child, “You can be anything you want to be,” why shouldn’t that statement still hold true for those over 18 years old?  Why not?  And don’t talk to me about responsibility.  Don’t talk to me about being a single mom or a single dad.  Don’t.  My question to you is, “Do you still believe you can be anything you want to be?”  My guess is you don’t.  I’m willing to put money on the fact that you believe your situation to be the rule, and when people are able to realize their dreams, they are the exception as far as you're concerned.  You know what??  Poppy-cock!  Someone sent you a package full of lies and you were the fool that signed your name when the delivery guy came, because it doesn’t have to be like that.  This world is filled with example after example of people overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds to get what they wanted.  In my opinion they are the rules to live by, not your neighbor/buddy/friend that believes that bad luck is the only kind of luck that exists.  Why don’t you let them have all the bad luck they want while you claim something a little different for yourself?

Let’s talk real quick about your job.  If you’re working a job that you don’t particularly care for, but you need it to provide – I’m not suggesting you dump it without a second thought.  Be mindful of your situation and your needs.  I am suggesting, however; that you look pick up some outside-of-work activities that will put a smile on your face and recharge your battery.  If you feel like your 9 to 5 is sucking the life out of you, then it is your duty to restore that life with things that feed your soul.  Exercising, volunteering, drawing, painting, singing, more time with your children, reading, dancing, or even taking some classes at your local community college.  Perhaps with some additional training and skills you’ll be able to walk away from that job and into a better one that’s not bleeding you dry emotionally.  All I’m asking is that you think outside the box.  I don’t want a single one of you to settle for unhappy.  It’s not cool, it’s not cute, and there’s so much more to life.  If you believe that the first grader has the power to be anything he/she wants to be, I beg that you also believe that for yourself.

Here’s my year so far…

JANUARY

I received the final version and accompanying products for my STILL STANDING logo.  STILL STANDING is my personal message of survival that will be the final bit of punctuation necessary to round out my brand.  Items aren’t yet available for purchase, but they soon will be.  I want to thank Spencer Owens and his wonderful team at 1Six5 Designs for making my dream a reality.

FEBRUARY

I received the final word that STEPPING ON A FEW TOES would have its east coast debut in New York City on the campus of College of Mount Saint Vincent.

Please, please, please do not be a bystander in your own life.  There is no reason you should be watching from the sidelines.  Make the decision to be active and participate and don’t stop until you’ve claimed your happiness.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo:  www.stockfreeimages.com

Patience Party of One, Your Table Is Ready

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you felt like you’d do just about anything to get it.  All of a sudden all bets were off and you were going for broke no matter what?  But then Plan A failed you… Plan B didn’t quite work out like you hoped… and now you’re staring at Plan C with just a hint of fear under your skin.

As of late I’ve been thinking that perhaps your plans are failing because the universe, God, your higher power has something bigger and better in store for you.  Your silly plans were meant to fail because they weren’t grand enough to bring about what’s been set aside for you.  The very thing that you want, you will get – but it has nothing to do with your timing.  It has nothing to do with your wit.  It has nothing to do with your charisma, your talent or your skill.  It has everything to do with your patience. 

Aahhh…patience.  There’s that word again.  Sitting tight when you really want to get up and go.   Holding your horses when you’d much rather run like the wind.  Pausing for a moment when everything inside you wants to get your Energizer bunny on.  I’ll admit, patience is no easy task.  Some would even argue that it’s more difficult to exercise patience than it is to put your own plan into action.  Agreed.  Agreed.  Agreed.  But the reward of patience far exceeds any piddly thing(s) you’d get through your own efforts and plans.  And here’s where you have to exercise belief.  The question isn’t can you work hard enough to get what you want.  The question is do you believe you will have what you seek in spite of your shortcomings and your flaws.  Do you have the confidence and belief to cut it out with the plans and just let nature take its course?  I hope you do and I want you to because nature is taking you right where you want to go if you just let her do her thing.  Don’t rush it, just enjoy the ride because before you know it you’ll be right where you always wanted to be and you will barely remember how you got there.

Patience and belief, my friend.  Introduce yourself to them and vow to never leave home without ‘em.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES. 

photo:  www.stockfreeimages.com

Here's the Name of the Game

Even if you’ve got lint in your pockets, if you have a healthy dose of confidence and buckets of belief in yourself you could buy a small island.  Never mind what the facts say.  Never mind what your friends say.  And I know I’ve been on this soapbox a time or two before, but you’re just gonna have to bear with me as there is a very personal story tied to this posting.  A dear friend of mine, whose name I won’t say, has tested my patience to the last and I can’t stay quiet any longer. 

My friend has been an aspiring writer for fifty years.  That’s more years than I’ve been alive.  For fifty years he’s been telling family and friends that he’s chasing a dream and he’s been lying the whole time.  Sure he’s completed over thirty manuscripts, but he’s never had any intention on doing a thing with any of them.  Paper on top of paper shoved into this closet, that cabinet and the drawer over there.  Ideas for stories doodled on napkins and the backs of envelopes.  Bragging about his great American novel…all of this for fifty years.  I’m certain your first thought is that all his scribblings are garbage; nothing more than one-two-buckle-my-shoe.  Well, you’d be wrong.  And this is where I begin to lose my cool.  He’s a master storyteller that can weave words just as good as the greats, if not better.  He’s got a God-given gift wrapped in talent and skill that most only dream of.  So what gives, right?  He’s got the dream. He’s got the talent.  And he even has the finished products. He’s got FINISHED PRODUCTS.  Products.  With an “s” on the end.  Did you get that?  I can barely finish a short story and he has novels and full-length plays by the dozens…and they’re good.  Now the only question worth asking is, “Why don’t I know this guy’s name?  Why aren’t his books covering the windows of the few remaining bookstores out there?  Why isn’t there a thumbnail of his book cover on Amazon’s home page?”  I’ll tell you why.  Because for fifty years he hasn’t had the confidence to pound the pavement.  For fifty years he hasn’t truly believed he would make it.  For fifty years he’s been afraid to carry on a conversation with anyone that may be able to change his life for the better.  He’s shied away from aggressively pursuing literary representation or contacting publishers for fear of further rejection.  Let me go one more step.  On those few occasions where he did get positive feedback from someone that was in a position to help him, he ran away.  He gathered his papers and took the first flight back home.  Now I never really thought there was a such thing as having a fear of success until I met him.  And even though I see it right before my eyes, it’s a concept that I still don’t understand.  How can you want something so dog’on bad and not want it at the same time.  Hope and pray every night for this very thing, yet push it away with every bit of strength you’ve got.  Not only how do you do it, but why?  And that’s a why only he can answer, but I hate sitting on the sidelines watching my friend pretend to take two steps forward when in fact he’s gone nowhere.  I hate it.  And even more so I hate that I believe in him more than he believes in himself.  I hate that he’s too afraid to go out in the world and claim what’s rightfully his.  That he prefers the safety of his home.  That he’s ok with smiling to his friends and family as he talks about the pretend strides he’s making.  The fake progress.  The phony advances.  I hate that he will sacrifice and give his last for me, but he won’t do it for himself.

I don’t know if this is making sense to anyone other than me, but what I want to impress upon anyone with a dream and a shred of intellect is:  YOU CAN GET THERE, but it’s gonna mean you’ve got to take some steps.  I don’t know of a thing that we want that comes to us.  We have to go out and get it and we can’t be afraid of getting a few bumps, bruises, and scrapes along the way.  Do you think the winner of a boxing match comes out untouched?  It’s possible.  Maybe Iron Mike in his heyday, but that’s about it.  Even the winners look like hell by the end of it all – but they won!  They won and it made all the nicks and scratches worth it.  Battle wounds don’t hurt half as bad if you’re holding the trophy at the end of the war.  So as you’re looking at the road ahead that I’m sure looks spooky and ugly as hell – don’t focus on the valleys and peaks on the trail, focus on the end point, the destination.  Who gives a rip what you have to go through to get there?  You just have to get there.  And if you don’t have enough confidence and belief in yourself that you can make it, I assure you you won’t.  Stay home and don’t waste your time.  Take a nap.  Rest up for the lifetime of fake accomplishments you’re about to have.  But if you don’t want that to be your end result it doesn’t have to be.  And I know for sure I’ve said that before and I mean it with every fiber of my being.  You have the power to change you at any time.  Most people never will, but it’s very possible.  You just have to dig down deep inside and figure out who you really are, what you really want, and what’s really important to you at the end of the day.  I’m doing a lot of talking here, but this is important stuff.  YOU. HAVE. TO. BELIEVE. IN. YOU.  You have to.  And if you couple that belief with even a slice of confidence you will soar.  You will literally grow wings and take flight – ok, maybe not literally, but you get my meaning.  Listen.  I love to see my friends succeed and I want them all to do well and achieve the goals they set for themselves.  Seeing their accomplishment builds my belief and fuels my excitement.  So I need their success just as much as I need my own.  And whether you’ve been chasing your dream for five years or for fifty years it’s all the same.  Your destiny can change in a second but it all starts with you.  Do you want to run a marathon, start a family, go to law school, buy your dream house, be a cartoonist, invent a new iPhone app, win a Grammy, cure a disease, start your own business, help the less fortunate, win an Academy Award, or write the next great American novel?  Whatever it is that you want you can have it.  It’s all possible and it’s all within reach.  You just have to confidently say, “I believe.”  Then you have to take your first step and vow to yourself that you’ll take your second step the following day.  The name of this game is, “don’t stop.”  That’s how you’re gonna make it to the end.  Don’t stop.  Listen.  I believe in you, but it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans if you don’t believe in you.  If you’re ready we can take the first step together.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo credit:  http://www.stockfreeimages.com/651686/Game-cube.html 

Anything Is Possible; If You BELIEVE

The power of the mind is so incredible. This is another one of those things that seems completely hokey, but it's true, and science can back me up on this one. I'm sure you've heard of the placebo effect, right? Sure you have, but for those that have no real knowledge or understanding on how clinical studies are carried out, let me take two seconds to explain...

The results of any clinical study are only as good as the study itself, and to truly know if a medication or procedure is effective you have to measure it against something. So for a study you might have Person A taking a medicated green pill orally and Person B will also be taking a green pill orally, yet their pill will contain no medicine – therefore making it a placebo. Now science has shown us that it is not uncommon for Person B to experience positive effects from their non-medicated pill, and this is the placebo effect.

Placebo Effect: the measurable, observable, or felt improvement in health or behavior not attributable to a medication or invasive treatment that has been administered. [from http://www.skepdic.com/placebo.html]

In essence, if Person B believes he is popping a pill that will make him better that belief may be all the medicine he needs. Weird, right? I know, but it's true and it doesn't stop there. It's just that medicine provides us with the most measurable occurrences, or at least it provides us with situations that others are more apt to believe themselves. When you see a cancer tumor shrink, you can't deny it. But that's no different from the athlete that breaks a world record. When asked how they did it, many respond, “I just believed I could.” For some reason that's a lot harder to wrap our minds around than a shrinking tumor. “You mean to tell me you leaped a tall building just because you believed you could??” They've got to be pulling your leg, right? Wrong. They're totally not. They're dead serious and they mean every syllable that they speak. If you want to get anything done, I don't care how large or how small the task is, it always begins with belief. And I gotta' tell ya'...I just about want to vomit right now for what I'm about to say, but I can't help myself and I'm gonna say it anyway. Sorry (don't say that I didn't apologize).

If you don't think you can do it, if anywhere in your mind and body you don't believe you have what it takes to get it done, if you have even the slightest bit of doubt – it wins, and it wins every time. And here goes the vomit inducing cliché: if you don't think you can, you are absolutely right. (Leave me alone, I apologized.)

Come on guys, it's this simple: YOU have to be your loudest cheerleader. YOU have to be your greatest advocate. YOU have to be the one singing your praises when no one else is. You just gotta'. If you don't believe in you why would anyone else? Honestly. And the first cousin of belief is confidence, but I won't have the time to get into that one today. Just know this (and you already know it): there is a reason why confident people seem to get whatever they want. There is a reason why confident people have no lack of friends. There is a reason why confident people are memorable. Confidence is magnetic, it's fun, it's attractive, and it's sexy. But here's the kicker, you don't get confidence without first having some belief. And I could type all day, but I won't. I just hope someone is hearing what I'm saying. If your nose isn't shaped quite right, if you're carrying a few extra pounds, if you're not as tall as you'd like to be, if everyday seems to be a bad hair day – own it. Own every single drop of it, and make it you. Quit hiding behind what you believe to be your flaws and turn those supposed inadequacies into your calling card. What's the worst thing that could happen? Someone might not like you? Someone might talk about you behind your back? Sorry to burst your bubble, genius, the haters are gonna do that regardless. So if you're gonna go out, go out believing that you're the shit and that you have what it takes to get the job done. Then walk with all the confidence in the world and watch what happens.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

photo credit: http://msxml.excite.com/search/images?q=believe