I’m
staring at a movie quote that has been haunting me for days now. It reads, “We accept the love we think we
deserve.” It comes from THE PERKS OF
BEING A WALLFLOWER, which hasn’t come out yet, but they definitely have my
attention. One more time: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Holy smokes!
Isn’t that just…just…just the truth?
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” So when you see the woman getting the life
beat out of her by her lover/mate/spouse, and you wonder why she doesn’t leave,
this is why. When you see the guy getting
dogged out by his girl and you can’t seem to figure why he puts up with it –
this is why. They don’t see themselves
as being worthy of much more. They have
such a low opinion of themselves that they believe it’s either put up with the
nonsense or be alone. They, for whatever
the reasons may be, don’t think a decent man/woman would give them the time of
day, so they settle. The put up with the
crap and they believe the lie. And sometimes
they believe the lie until they become it.
Truly a sad state of affairs.
Knowing
your worth dictates all your actions so it’s necessary for each of us to spend
some time with ourselves re-learning and re-understanding who we are, what we
are, and why we’re great. WE have to
know those things inside and out because they will get tested on a daily basis,
and if we aren’t rock solid on the answers we’ll quickly end up with people
that we’ve got no business. With people
that aren’t deserving of our time, our love, and our commitment. If we’re going to be loyal to someone, why
not to a person that is our equal?
Someone that feeds and nurtures our soul? Someone that sees the precious metal in us
and treats us accordingly? Why not
exercise patience waiting for a bit and make the decision to be loyal to that
person? Giving your heart, love and commitment
to the others will only make you bitter.
You become callused, cold and empty inside, and you end up blaming it on
the other person when it’s not their fault.
You have to look in the mirror and take the blame for giving them the
time of day. For letting them take up
residence in your heart. For allowing
them to stay long after they’d worn out their welcome. That’s your fault, and as difficult as it may
be, you’ve got to face that fact and take that blame. But don’t take it without learning
something. That would be a waste of
time. Recognize where you went wrong and
then try to figure out why. Why did you
allow yourself to settle? Why did you
give this person the go-ahead to rip your self esteem to shreds? Why?
Take as much time as you need to figure that out because only then will
you be ready for what you truly deserve which isn’t a perfect person, but
someone that is perfect for you. They
will elevate you, adore you, honor you, but above all – they will respect
you. Remember:
“We
accept the love we think we deserve.”
Why not
think you deserve the best? Why not KNOW
you deserve the best? Seriously, why
not?
My name
is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING
ON A FEW TOES.
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