What Do You Want?

Relationships of all kinds deteriorate because of unmet expectations.  Parent :: Child.  Teacher :: Student.  Husband :: Wife.  Even the best of friendships have come under fire due to unmet expectations, and it’s unfortunate, because these are problems that could have been averted had the lines of communication been wide open between the individuals in question.  Let me tell you what I mean…

For anyone that has ever taken a college course you know that on day one of that class the professor hands out a syllabus.  That syllabus is your roadmap to success because it lines out the assignments for the entire semester, fills you in on the instructor’s attendance policy and it tells you how each assignment is weighted.  You’re in!!  Home free!!!  If I want to get in “A” in this class, THIS is what I’ve got to do.  If I’m aiming from a “B” in this course, THIS is what it’s gonna’ take.  It’s all there.  Right there in black and white.  No guess work, no having to decipher clues, no lines to read between.  The instructor has been kind enough to give you a hard copy of their very detailed expectations – now it’s up to you whether you choose to follow them or not.  THAT’S what you have to decide, but you can never say, “I didn’t know!” or “No one told me!”  Those two dollar excuses won’t work here, because you and the fifty to a hundred students all received the same roadmap…the same course guide…the same list of expectations.  The “A” students used that roadmap like a Bible and the “D” students probably misplaced it after the first class.

But what if everyone could be that college professor?  How much easier would life be if everyone was kind enough to outline their expectations of us from the get-go?  The interesting thing is, as parents, you’re very good as laying out the expectations: 

-- I expect you to make your bed every morning.

-- I expect you to take out the trash twice a week.

-- I expect you to clean your bathroom once a week.

Parents seem to be very clear with their expectations and they’re not shy about sharing them with their children because it just makes sense.  You can’t punish a child for not making the bed if you’ve never told them that’s a chore they’re expected to complete.  DUH?? 

But why is it that outside of parenting most people don’t use that same logic?  Folks are walking around praying that someone is reading their mind.  NEWSFLASH:  it’s not happening!!!  People have way too much going on to spend extra time wondering what you may or may not want…what you may or may not like.  It’s just not happening.  So why not save yourselves some heartache and be upfront?  Be that college professor and clearly explain your expectations to others.  Doing so doesn’t make you evil, it makes you honest and upfront, and it means you have a much better chance of getting what you want because…well because now they know what to give you.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.