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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Stick a Fork In Me


I woke up this morning and I had Marilyn Manson on the brain. So I’m rockin’ out to “The Beautiful People” as I right this – and I don’t think it’s gonna be pretty…

I began this blog because many have been asking me over the years about the fine details of mounting a one-person show. And please understand, I’ve never been a dream-crusher. So even though this is hella work, I have never really revealed the full girth of all the “ugly” to anyone, because if I did, most would never give it a try. But if the purpose of this blog is to give an honest look inside…well strap into your seats, cause you’re about to get a healthy dose of honesty from me today. Anyone ever seen Dave Chapppelle’s interview on Inside the Actor’s Studio? I had a friend tell me once, “It was the realest thing I’ve ever seen.” I’m not going to go all of there with you, but just know that the gloves (and when I say gloves I mean Sassy Js) have been taken off. And F, Y, and I: this isn’t a “rant.” These are feelings I’ve carried with me since June 2009. I’ve shared them with no one because who likes to hear anyone complain? Not me. But today is different…

Guys I’m tired. I am mentally and emotionally drained, and I do believe I’m at the end of my rope. Since May 2009 I’ve received nothing but praise for STEPPING ON A FEW TOES, and everyone has a suggestion of where I should perform next: what venue, what festival, what country, what organization I should pitch to. EVERYONE has an idea and a suggestion. Everyone tells me, “Jaz, more people need to see this.” Everyone. Everyone says they wish I were doing it for one more night or one more weekend so they can bring people. Everyone says this. And for the ones that have yet to see it? Their response is the same, “Please tell me when you’re doing it again! I’m coming next time!” Or I get, “Of course I’ll be there! I HAVE to see this show!” Now I’m sure some have good intentions. I’m sure they do. But either way, after three years of hearing the same stuff I’m just plain old tired. Perhaps I could understand if I badger people about coming to every little thing I’m in – but I don’t. Maybe I could understand if STEPPING ON A FEW TOES was drivel – but it’s not. Maybe I could understand if you and I weren’t all that close – but naw…that’s not the case. And the interesting part is that the perfect strangers always show up! The ones I meet in passing and extend an invite to? They ALWAYS come. Ok, so maybe I’m ranting a little. I had a late night convo with a friend about Charlie Sheen last night, sue me. But this is it guys. This is it. I’m done. This will be the final performance of STEPPING ON A FEW TOES in Los Angeles that is open to the general public. Show up if you want to. Stay at home watching Idol or whatever other brilliant programming is on on Thursday night. I’m done reaching out. “What’s the big deal, Jaz? It’s just a play!” The big deal is that it’s not just a play for me. It’s my life. And if I’ve ever invited you it’s because I want YOU to know who I am…what makes me tick…it’s because I honestly want YOU to be there. That’s it. Stick a fork in me because I’m done.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

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