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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Get UNstuck


Oh my goodness.  Forgiveness.  It’s so freakin’ necessary.  A friend of mine just shared a life lesson with me and I think it finally clicked for the first time.  Here’s a synop of what he said…

“I cannot judge another.  I am incapable of judging another because, no matter how much I know, or how much I think I know, I will never have all the facts.  And without all the facts there is no way you can make a proper judgment.  And since I’m unable to judge, I cannot condemn another.  I just can’t.”

He went on to say that once he understood his inability to judge that freed him to be able to quickly forgive the other person.  And once he forgave he had to let go.  So let’s look at a scenario…

You get wronged by your best friend of fifteen years.  You swear you know this person inside and out, yet they outright stabbed you in the back or hurt you in the worst way possible.  You’re human.  It leaves you hurt, angry, disappointed, sad, bothered, and vengeful.  And even though you want to haul off and beat the snot out of your so-called friend, I’m offering you another option.  Even though you’ve been friends for fifteen years, you still don’t have all the facts about who they are.  No one does, and no one ever will.  It is impossible for you to truly understand why they did what they did.  Right or wrong…you just don’t know.  And because you don’t know you can’t make a clear judgment.  And because you can’t make a clear judgment, you can’t condemn.  You just can’t.  What I am suggesting you do is forgive.  And do it fast.  Sincerely forgive them for hurting you and release it.  You CANNOT continue to hold it over their head because in doing so, you’re holding yourself back.  There’s a book called, “You Can’t Steal Second With Your Foot On First.”  It’s the same principle.  If you’re continuing to remind them at every turn about the infraction they committed against you when you guys were in college – you’re stuck!  You haven’t moved on!  Life is passing you by and your greatest accomplishment is keeping tallies on everyone that’s wronged you.  Whoop-dee-doo.  Aren’t you fancy??  Come on, man.  Get over yourself!  It’s not that serious, and you’re missing out on your own life.  They’re living; you’re not, and you’re hurting yourself.  What a shame.  You’re missing out on so much of life’s goodness because you choose to spend the bulk of your time keeping score.  Who the hell really cares?  I mean, really?  Who the hell cares?  They messed up.  You can either choose to keep them in your life or toss them aside.  If you choose to maintain the friendship/relationship – you’ve GOT to let it go.  Trust me on this one.

Forgive.  Let go.  Move on.

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

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