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Saturday, November 19, 2011

Julie Gets Me



So I was recently told (and not for the first time) that I need to open up more. Apparently some believe that I “hold back” or keep things to myself. I think I may have even heard the term “bottled up” thrown in there at some point. I, of course, think differently. I’m an open book. I’m blogging for goodness sake! How much more open can one be??

So I was watching Julie & Julia (for the umpteenth time) and all of a sudden the movie had new meaning. Here was a girl on a quest – a 365 day quest – to complete a mission and write about it the whole while. My mission doesn’t quite have any hard and fast deadlines attached to it, but it’s a mission nonetheless, and I’ve told the three people that read this thing that I’m in it for the long haul. I will write it as I experience it. GoodNESS it sounds so much easier than it really is. Does anyone understand that there is no time in the day? I honestly feel like if I’m sitting here blogging for my two readers that I’m not being productive. This is time spent that I could be doing something else…getting something done…crossing a line item off my list. Ugh. And, honestly, I don’t know what you want from me. What is it that you really want to know about? Do you want to know what made me write the show in the first place? Are you interested in how long it took to get STEPPING ON A FEW TOES on paper? Do you want to know exactly how much I spent on the show’s first run? Do you care how much has been spent on each run thereafter? Are you interested in hearing about the friends I’ve lost in the process of this whole thing? Or would you rather hear about the ones that all of a sudden want to be my friend now? Here’s the truth: STEPPING ON A FEW TOES has been my life since December 2008. My whole entire life. All of my efforts, energies, thoughts, monies, and creativity has been shoved into this one thing since December 2008. And here we are in November 2011, and I’m tired. There I said it. I’m tired. Mentally and emotionally drained. Thankful to have hired two individuals to help with some of the workload, but the administrivia involved with the upkeep of employees is just another thing to deal with. There is no sign anything resembling a social life on the horizon, particularly because there is no time. And when I am blessed with those rare moments, days, or hours of “spare” time, I’d rather not share them with anyone. I spend so much time doing for and serving others (in one capacity or another) that when I’ve got a minute or two where nothing has to get done that moment, I’d rather cherish that beautiful moment with me, myself, and I. Because I know that just around the corner is a deadline that will have to be met along with a myriad of other things that will need tending to. So alone time has become a precious commodity.

Things accomplished today: mailed off my employees’ first paychecks. Filled out my passport application (awaiting some info from my parents). Writing this blog – hey, it counts! Oh! I received the final logo package from my designer, and I L-O-O-O-VE it! Brandon Toon is his name, and he’s done an amazing job! The jasmynneshaye.com site won’t get it’s overhaul until January, so I’m debating on when I’m going to reveal the logo. But for the one person that reads this thing, I think you’re gonna like it. Oh! Yesterday I did begin compiling the info I’m going to need for this book that I was speaking of. It’s probably time that I call in some favors to those folks that have told me they have some publishing connections (one more thing to add to my “Things To Do” list).

My name is Jasmynne Shaye, and this is me STEPPING ON A FEW TOES.

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